A Hearts Abyss
by Anne-twenty
Summary: Will Solace and Nico di Angelo have just made their relationship public. What happens as they become more serious? What if Will Solace and Connor Stoll were boyfriends the before the rise of Gaea? Can Connor recover from a broken heart? Can Will get over his guilt with Nico at his side? The past is experienced in flashbacks from both Connor and Will's perspectives
1. Chapter 1 - June: Cold Front

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 1: June Cold Front

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of my story Charting Unknown Territory (Solangelo). This story is Solangelo with a past Will and Connor relationship. It is highly suggested that you read Charting Unknown Territory first. The least you need to know is 1) Will and Nico had their first kiss the day before and 2) Jason for misguided reasons beats up Will and Connor stops him. This first segment begins in the present from Connor perspective and then the past is told in flashback.

***Warning Has MoA, HoH, and BoO spoilers. All characters are Rick Riordan's. ******

* * *

~* Present- 6 days after the battle with Gaea *~

As soon as he told Travis about Jason beating up Will earlier that morning he rushed to his infirmary room. Connor followed reluctantly. He saw Nico sitting on the bed and his slight blush that said all too much.

Travis exclaimed loudly, "Shit Solace! You're a mess! Glad I didn't have breakfast yet."

"Hey Travis, Connor," Will called lifting his chin.

He stayed near the door and frowned at Will before grimacing at Nico sitting on the bed. "Will, I've been release, but before I go you have to tell me what that fight was about. Can I talk with you? Um… Alone?"

Travis turned to Nico, "Hey Nico, tell me about your powers. I think they could lead to some sweet pranks." Nico turned to Will before jumping down and following Travis out of the room.

"Remember no underworld-y demonstrations," Will called as his bright eyes followed the boy. They dimmed as Nico left the room.

As soon as the door was closed, Connor flopped into the bedside chair dejected. He regarded Will with his injuries morosely and wondered why.

"He really fucked you up." Connor practically roared. "Travis and I will get back at him for you."

"I really don't want you to do that." He said frowning with a resolute look that reminded him of when they broke up. Will seemed so laid back but he had a will of steel about some things. Apparently this was one of them.

"Don't worry. He might not be so pretty when we are done, but he'll keep all his limbs." Connor assured him as his stomach twisted at his lack of anger.

"Connor, please don't." Will implored with the gentle gaze that had made him fall for the boy. It felt like rocks hit his stomach.

"Seriously? How can you say that? Is he a homophobe or something? He didn't even stop when you didn't defend yourself." He argued

"Nah, he's not. He's just over protective." He answered distractedly and looked away.

Connor suddenly had a glimpse of an idea, "This is about Nico right?" The son of Hades was close to Jason.

"He just got carried away trying defend him." He responded cryptically.

"From you? You're kidding?" He didn't know a gentler person at camp.

"I know, right? And all the time I was just trying to keep Nico from losing it." He blurted out and appeared to regret it.

Of course, how could he have missed it? It seemed so obvious now, the blush, and the look. Nico fucking di Angelo, the creepiest kid in camp. The load of rocks in his stomach sunk to his feet. He had to be sure, so reluctantly he went on, "Is it serious?"

"He starts to fade whenever the post-traumatic stress hits…"

Connor interrupted, "No, I mean you and Nico."

In his astonishment Will hesitated then admitted, "Yes, for me at least."

"But he's only been back a few days!" He said realizing how much he had depended on being wrong about this. His chest now actively ached.

Will fixed Connor with a poignant regretful stare and he understand his unspoken answer. Damn Apollo kids. Why couldn't Apollo have left Daphne alone? He asked with stoic regret, "Oh… how long?"

He uttered the unpleasant truth, "Always."

Connor's mouth opened stunned and then he gulped, "You… Oh…" He paled all color disappeared from the world. His beautiful Will had never been his, but always belonged to another. Now he had been beaten to a pulp as a result.

After a few moments, the brunette went on, "So you think Jason saw it?"

Will hesitated, "Worse, I told him."

"You are such an idiot" He accused, falling into playful banter because he couldn't handle anything requiring thought.

He laughed bitterly, "Yes I am, I enraged the son of Zeus. And I like to poke angry bears for fun."

"Come on Will! He needs to be taught a lesson." He insisted.

"NO!" He commanded, "He is Nico's best friend." He saw the steel in his words and everything seemed to crash in around him. He wanted so badly to hold him, help him, to be with him.

"But, Will?" He begged, gazing into his eyes at a loss for words. He could no longer resist and he tentatively reached up to touch Will's cheek.

"Connor, don't!" Will warned sharply and he withdrew his hand quickly looking down, defeated.

He still couldn't deny that he loved the idiot blond. He would do whatever Will asked. Despondently he said, "So, no reprisals?"

"Right, and can you try to quell the rumors, too?"

"But you don't care what people say. Besides Jason deserves a few evil rumors." He inquired confused.

"In the long run it will hurt Nico the most. He's afraid to come out." He insisted.

Right, it is all about Nico, "So help me out for old time sake?" Connor said in a strangely flat voice.

"That is my line." Will chuckled without any real mirth.

"Sure Will, for you anything." Connor said with resigned acceptance, as he turned to go.

"Thanks Connor, you're a gem." Will called. He glanced back and paused as if he might never look at Will again. He wanted him to take it all back and be his instead. He saw how distant his eyes were, they had none of the sparkle that looking at Nico had inspired. It was far too late. It had been too late before they even started. Instead he turned to leave, downcast.

Connor sat despondently at empty camp fire seeing nothing around him. He had told Travis what Will wanted in such a way that he would not argue. Then he asked to be alone to his brother's bewilderment. Why did his first time in love have to be so fucking tragic? He thought back to when Will had broken up with him and the wound still felt open and raw, as raw as the first time. It didn't help that he now could piece together exactly what had caused it.

* * *

~*** Flashback – June ***~

It was the end of June and the Argo II left camp just a few days ago when they got a message from them. The head counselors were sitting around the ping pong table, but the mood was somber as Chiron told them about the accidental attack on the Roman camp and the war brewing. They spent the next couple of hours talking about camp defense. Connor had held Will's hand under the table squeezing it occasionally, but his attention was on the defense plans.

Right before they left Chiron announce, "While in the ancient lands the crew of the Argo II has an additional task to finish. I regret to inform you that Gaea's giants have captured Nico di Angelo and he is being used as bait to lure the seven to Rome. They only have until July 1st to rescue him. As you know he is a son of the big three and an exceptionally fierce demigod, but he was captured in Tartarus. I'm afraid that just surviving long enough to be captured is amazing. Yet for all that, these foes are beyond his surely waxing strength. Please pray to the Gods to help him as well as the other seven of the prophecy."

Everyone gasped, so Connor barely registered that Will had dropped his hand and had gone deathly pale. He told Will he had to work defense plans with Travis but would see him later. Shocked discussion went on for a while, but Will turned and left without a word. Oblivious the brothers had left at an unhurried pace as they discussed how to best use Hermes gifts to protect the camp.

It was a couple of hours later when Lou Ellen demanded "Connor, come help me with Will." And she ran off toward the arena. Connor and Travis only needed to glance at each other to agree to run after her. He was amazed to see Will clubbing the training dummy with a training sword. Most campers stabbed or swung, but Will really didn't know anything about sword fighting. He looked exhausted with his tee shirt torn, drenched in dust and sweat. As they came closer they heard him shout a string of angry obscenities as tears ran down his face.

"Fuck… you're a cunt Gaea… and all you mother fucking… giants… I hate you all… Damn asshole Gods… can't even help… your own children…" Each pause coincided with a hit of the dummy that was looking rather bedraggled.

Lou Ellen choked out, "I think he has been here since the meeting. I've tried to talk to him, but he ignores me."

Connor was thunderstruck, he had never even imaged Will could act this way. He was always the calm, rational, pacifist of the camp. He didn't even fight in the battle of Manhattan until the last stand. He had Travis keep a step behind him as he walked closer to Will.

"Will… babe… You need to put the sword down." He said consolingly.

"I can't fucking stand… losing anyone else… That bitch will kill us all…"

"WILL, ITS CONNOR, LOOK AT ME!"

"Son of a bitch… death everywhere… Shit, I can't fight… I just have to watch… everyone… fucking die…. again…"

Connor nodded to Travis and they rushed him. Travis wrenched the sword out of his hand and Connor gabbed him tightly from behind pinning his arms down. Will fought knocking them both to the ground. Connor turned him face down and brought his arms around to his back. Travis came to help him pin his legs down.

Slowly Will stopped cursing and struggling and went limp. He began heart rending sobs and the brothers slow got off him. Connor clutched him to his chest where he clung racking with each cry. He held him tight making shushing noises while Lou Ellen rubbed his back. Nobody said anything, because they'd all been though the Titan war and they knew what was coming would be worse.

Travis put the sword away and then went back to help Will and Connor up. They walked the blond to his cabin as he continued to cry. They asked another Apollo camper to get a sedative and Connor helped Will clean up and get ready for bed, never taking his arm from around him as he softly whimpered into his shoulder. When Kayla came in with the sedative Connor helped him take it.

"This will knock him out until morning. He may be a bit hazy on the last hour or so when he wakes, but it will come back in time. For him that may not be a bad thing." Kayla said disconcerted by Will's inconsolable state.

Connor then crawled into bed with him in his small head counselor's bedroom, still holding him tight "I'm staying until he's out," he demanded. Nobody protested and Lou Ellen pulled Kayla away to tell her what happened. Travis patted Will on the back and gripped Connor's upper arm tightly once before leaving them alone.

In the morning, Connor returned to be sitting by the bed when Will woke. "What are you going here?" Will asked confused as he stretched.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Connor asked carefully.

"Um…" Will eyebrows creased and he shook his head. "I don't know. My dismay after the counselor meeting and walking around camp lost in thought."

"Nothing more?" Connor prompted.

"I had a vivid dream that I was cursing at a giant and beating it into the ground."

"Well that is close." He chuckled, "We found you cursing and beating a training dummy to a pulp. Travis and I had to tackling you to get you to stop." Will made an 'o' with his mouth and his eyes went wide. "Kayla gave you a sedative and said you may forget. So, I'd ask you what was going on, but I don't think you know."

Will frowned, but didn't say anything. He looked away out the window as if gauging the time, "Um… I should get to my infirmary shift."

Connor was taken by surprise at Will's distance, but he put it down to embarrassment. He leaned forward to give him a small unacknowledged kiss on the cheek before leaving the cabin.

After dinner, Connor bounced over to the Apollo table for their usual 'walk' after dinner. Will again frowned slightly when he saw him. He appeared indifferent to the son of Hermes grabbing his hand and pulling him away, but did not fight it. He was beginning to get uneasy, as he looked at the blond's morose expression.

He waited until they were well hidden behind the canoe shed before pressing Will against the wall and kissing him. He was sluggish in returning his kiss. Connor broke off saying seductively, "I can make you forget about your troubles."

Will let out a shaky laugh and pushed him away, "I doubt it."

"Come on Will talk to me. I know having a war coming is hard, but we knew this coming," Connor argued.

Will only looked down saying, "Yesterday it just got a lot more real. I can't explain, but I just snapped and had to let off some steam."

"That was more of a hurricane then a little steam. Is this about Lee and Michael?" Connor knew he had been close to both previous head counselors and it had been devastating when they died.

Will looked away, "Maybe, but it was more than just that. We are talking about everyone dying."

"You can't think that way. Percy and Annabeth defeated Kronos. This time they two of seven powerful demigods. They will find a way. We just have to be ready to support them in battle." The brunette reasoned.

This was followed by a longer pause before Will raised his head and looked him straight in the eyes, "Connor, I can't do this anymore. I know how you feel about me and it isn't right to lead you on." Connor felt stricken. "None of us has much time left and I can't lie about it anymore." Will continued.

"You're not lying to me Will. It is alright, I don't mind." he begged pitifully as his mind raced. _How did he know? He wasn't supposed to know I was in love. I was so careful._

"I mind." Will declared in a way that brooked no argument with a hard look in his eyes. Connor felt his heart break where Will had just stomped on it with those two little words. Not that he just gave up. He kept trying to convince him that night and many more times before the war, but nothing worked. He messed up. He always knew to Will it was just a fling and he had tried to keep things light and casual, but the blond had seen through all his careful subterfuge.

* * *

~* Back to Present- 6 days after the battle with Gaea *~

Now he was dating Nico fucking di Angelo and had apparently always been in love with him. It all was clear, once he thought Nico was about to die, he thought it was wrong to be with some else. Moreover, Connor so soft that he would do anything for Will, just to see him happy. And annoy as it was, he had to admit that Will was happy. He could see it so clearly in the bright eyes that had followed Nico. Before Will would smile and laugh, but his eyes remained distant. So here was Connor, bleeding all over and unable to staunch the wound. He was pathetic and nothing was about to change that fact.

* * *

Authors Note: I'm telling about Connor and Will's relationship from the end to the beginning with a related present story that leads to the flashback. Let me know how you like it. Don't worry I plan to take care of Connor by the end.

Thanks,

Anne


	2. Chapter 2 - May: Santa Ana Winds

**A Heart's Abyss**

Chapter 2 – May: Santa Ana Winds

Authors note: Welcome to my continuing saga of Connor's heartbreak. I do plan to bring Connor back up after this so hang on through the sad parts. This has under age smut/ boy x boy/ lemon in the flashback after the break, so take heed and you have been warned.

* * *

~*Present- 8 days after the battle with Gaea*~

* * *

Will managed to corner Nico as he left his cabin the morning after their first date. Nico was leaning against the Hades cabin. Will stood in front of him with one hand pressed into the wall next to Nico's head. He felt his usual warm smolder just from being around the Italian. He looked deep into his gleaming chocolate eyes and asked, "So, how did you enjoy our date?"

Nico paused slightly and looked down, before giving Will a hesitant answer, "I'm not sure." His heart sunk. Then he looked up at him and his dark eyes twinkled with merriment. "I think we'll need to date some more before I can be sure I liked it," And a smile widening across his face.

Will was floating as he grinned back saying, "Oh really? I think I can arrange a few more practice sessions," as he drew his index and middle fingers gently in a line from the smaller teen's temple to his chin following the jaw. He tipped Nico's jaw up and leaned over to touch lips together lightly and gently. _His cool lips are so heavenly_ , he thought as they continued to softly kiss.

"Solace, Yo! I need to talk to you now!" Shouted Travis Stoll irately.

Nico stiffened immediately, but Will stayed still with his finder tips on Nico's chin and sighed. _At least it wasn't Connor, but damn it I don't want to get into this in front of Nico._

He calmly whispered to Nico, "Don't rise, I know what this is about. It is nothing, I'll get rid of him." The raven haired boy had an infuriated look in his eyes, but he gave a slight nod as Travis stormed past them both.

The blond turned to follow a retreating Travis. The older teen didn't look at him, but traipsed behind the Dionysus cabin so that he was just out of Nico's line of sight.

He then turned, clenched Will's upper arms, and slammed him against the wall just hard enough to get his attention, but not enough to hurt him. Travis chastised him viciously, "Not only have you broken Connor's heart, now you are fucking parade your new _lover_ in front of everyone at camp! He is falling apart and you're not helping."

"Travis, I… I never meant to hurt him," Will uncertainly defended himself.

"You say that, but he is still hurting. Do you know how hard it is to see him like this? And I can't do anything about it. Can you at least fucking tone down the PDA until I can get him out of here?" Travis demanded angrily.

"Travis, I am sorry. We'll cool it until he's gone." He let go of his arms and slightly eased his stance. Will added cautiously, "Um… Where are you taking him?"

The older boy looked worried and glanced into the distance as he answered, "He's coming with me to college. We'll get a place and he can finish High School there. I'm trying to get everything sorted with Chiron and leave as soon as possible."

"I do still care and if I can help…" Will started, but Travis cut him off.

"Just cut the PDA and keep away from us, alright." He demanded and stalking off as soon as Will nodded at him.

Will leaned his head back and groaned. He slid down to sit on the ground against the wall. Guilt crashed over him for what he had done to Connor. He didn't mean to hurt him. He really had thought it was just an escape on the verge of war; a simple fling for a couple of lonely people. He squirmed with remorse as he recalled when he found out for Connor was actually much more.

* * *

~*Flashback May*~

* * *

It was his 15th birthday, May 23th just after midnight and he was fast asleep. He had dreamed of Clovis telling him, "Happy Birthday Will. I am sending you a vision of the one you care for most."

After that he came swooping down over what looked like a row of Roman temples as the sky began to glow from the sunset. He saw a figure in profile, sitting atop a small glittering temple roof with his feet hanging over the edge. As he got closer he saw a skinny teen aged boy in an aviator's jacket with a black sword laying by his side. He had dark messy hair and rumpled black clothes. The roof's glitter was a combination of diamonds and bleached white bones.

Will smiled to see Nico di Angelo. He'd forgot how beautiful he was with his olive skin and longish curling raven hair and endless chocolate eyes. He was even happier to see him somewhere safe, the Roman camp. Damn it was so good to just see him. He actually looked healthy and somewhat filled out, but best of all he looked less guarded and pessimistic then usual.

Then the view shifted and he saw a girl on Nico's right. She had cinnamon colored long frizzy hair and warm chocolate skin with flickering caramel eyes. She was leaning on his shoulder looking contentedly into the distance. Nico actually had his arm around her like… like they were a couple.

Will's heart flipped over before descending coldly into dread. He had found someone else, a girl. He was actually touching her. _He didn't touch anyone._ They looked comfortable together as they talked. He had really thought Nico was gay. He realized that it had just been wishful thinking on his part.

This was so unlike the distance, brooding, angry demigod he saw when Nico came to Camp Half Blood. There he would scowl at everyone, keeping a three foot radius of personal space around himself. If Will was lucky enough to talk to him, it was only to ask for nectar and ambrosia. Any attempt at small talk usually got him an indifferent scowl before Nico turned away in pointed silence. Typically he was gone within the hour he had arrived.

To see him letting someone, other than him, comfort him made the blond seethe with resentment and envy. He knew he shouldn't get so upset, but he couldn't find any rational feelings in his heart. Nico didn't owe him anything. He probably didn't even remember his name. His excitement at seeing Nico faded into despair at his unrequited love. His heart wept saying: _Nico, Nico, Nico, Nico,_ as the vision darkened.

He felt consciousness tugging at him. He just wanted to go back to sleep and forget this vision had ever happened. All he wanted was to sleep, so he did not remember Nico with that girl. His subconscious hummed: _Nico, Nico, Nico…_

* * *

Instead, he was thrust awake with a hot wet sensation on his neck. He woke to warm arms wrapped around him with a face nuzzling at his neck.

"Ni… Co… Connor?" He asked disoriented. _What the Fuck Connor? He is here in my cabin in my bed at night… How?_

"Happy 15th Birthday, Babe." He said in a husky whispered in the blond's ear. He shifted to look Will straight in the eyes with an ardent fire. "I have a special birthday surprise for you." He purred.

"But, what about… Um… How are you here? We'll get caught." The blond questioned looking around to the door of the small head counselor's room.

He laughed softly, "I made a deal with Clovis to put your cabin mates to sleep. We are all alone… together… All night…." He paused smirking as he elbowed him, "Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink, Know what I mean? Say NO more!*"

"Dork!" Will replied grinning and rolling his eyes. Of course Connor would pull out a corny old Monty Python quote*. Connor leaned in to trail butterfly kisses along his jaw before reaching his lips to passionately kiss him. At the same time he pressed his body close to the tan boy. That was when he noticed that Connor was naked and he gulped. He both thrilled and blanched at what that meant. His heart began beating wildly. He began rationalizing as he hesitated. _We have never had this before, naked, alone, in bed, all night. Anyway Nico has no claim on me. Connor is so warm, passionate, and eager. That look in his eyes… He really wants me! Too soon the war will begin, so why not?_

Will let his ardor sweep way the last of his anxiety. He wound his fingers in Connors curly hair pulling him closer. Meanwhile Connor slid his hands up the back of Will T-shirt and deepened his kiss.

When they broke apart, panting, the brunette worked his way over to his right ear ghosting a breath over it and then licking around the rim. He blew lightly and the blond giggled, then shivered. After that Will felt heat rush straight to his groin. His hands started to caress along the sides of the older boy's warm skin traveling down slowly from his shoulders, to his toned back, to his gently curved ass, to caress his soft thighs. Connor moaned, "Babe, yeah…" into his ear before attacking his neck with fierce sucking bites that made Will skin tingle with pleasure.

The older boy pulled the blond up slightly to lift off his shirt before straddling him. Will let his hands smooth over Connor's chest as he looked at his impish smile with flopping brown curls over lust filled dark blue eyes. He adored his lithe compact body that was slightly smaller than his own. He eagerly brushed his fingers through the soft trail of light brown curls running all the way down to his chest.

Connor watched Will's eyes dilate as they travel down and chuckled, "My turn." He raised himself up to pull down Will's boxers. At the view he moaned, "Fuck, you are too damn sexy and stacked to be just fifteen."

He scooted up to place their erections side by side, still sitting over the younger boy. He spread his fingers wide and brushed his hands lightly from Will's tan shoulders, over his nipples and pectorals, and along his flat stomach. Will shivered then groaned when he lightly ran his fingers up both side of his shaft. Then Connor leaned down to align both their cocks. He wrapped his right sword calloused hand around both of them. He gave long languid strokes as he leaned in to touch foreheads together. His longing royal blue eyes looked into Will's crystal blue ones. Will gasped at the intensity, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Connors neck and pulled him into a fevered sloppy kiss.

When they broke apart gasping Connor gave a lazy smile as he let go of them both saying, "We have all night, babe." He slipped his legs between Will's so he could grind their hips together while putting their skin into as much contact as possible.

Will fisted the sheets as Connor bit and sucked at his collar bone hard enough to leave a mark. After a while he moved to the side and began trailing kisses down the smooth golden tanned body. He spent some time teasing each nipple and using his tongue to trace each muscle ridge in his stomach. He looked up and smirked at Will's dazed face before taking his weeping head into his mouth. He swirled around the head before bobbing down the length. Will moaned and ran his hands in Connor's curls. As his pleasure mounted he began panting erratically. Suddenly Connor pulled off with a pop and came up level with Will's face.

Will rolled over slowly as they both maneuvered in the small bed so the blond ended up on top. He held Connor by his sturdy shoulders and kissed the edge of his bruised red lips. Then he move downward to nibble a trail from his neck, down to his collar bone, and across his chest to lightly bite one nipple. His hands went lower to stroke his fully engorged length. He continued making a trail down the hair on his chest to the prize waiting for him. Soft incoherent noises came from Connor as he ran hands over the blond curls and down to his tan shoulders and up again.

When Will took him in his mouth and he said, "Gods, Yes!" and began swearing as Will's tongue swirled and mouth sucked driving him mad. Soon he panted out, "Wait!" Will paused, released him, and looked up at him baffled.

"Come up here." The older boy beckoned.

Will was still nonplussed when they were eye to eye. Connor's lust filled royal blue eyes pulled him in for a tender kiss before saying, "I want you to top me, tonight."

Will's mind blanked out momentarily, but his body responded with an eager twitch of his dick. His thoughts then kicked into high speed: _We have just done a few quick hand and blow jobs in hidden places around camp. All those hints and questions the past couple of weeks. Now I see, he has been leading up to this. Connor is 17 and I'm 15 that is old enough right? Do I really want to do this? Could I stop now even if I wanted to?_

His lover must have noticed his unease, because he hooked a leg around Will's waist and gave an eager nod. Then he reached beside the bed for small bottle of lube handing it to Will. The blond hesitated once more and asked, "Are you sure?"

Connor's typical lazy smile took on a glowing quality when combined with his deep sea blue eyes, "Yeah, I trust you and I want you to be the first. Please babe, fuck me," he attested.

Will fluttered with nerves as he slid down to kneel between Connor's legs as he spread them widely. He lubed his fingers and lightly brushed the edge of the pink puckered hole and it convulsed appealingly. The brunette said, "Please, babe." Will slowly pushed his middle finger against it and it slid up easily to the middle knuckle. Connor squirmed, "Oh, babe, more." After a few strokes he added his index finger. Will went slowly sinking in a knuckle at a time as Connor's face scrunched up slightly. Then when his long fingers were all the way in he stretched and twisted to find his sweet spot. Connor exclaimed, "Fuck Me," and then ordered, "Right there! Again! Now!"

Will sniggered and did it over again. It was amazing to see how this unraveled him. Usually Connor was alert and wary, if you're a particularly mischievous son of Hermes you need to be. Now he was wide-open below him and begging, "Will, babe, I want it, fill me up, please." Will worked a third finger in while the boy below him bemoaned the delay. Only when Will thought he was ready did he removed his fingers as the brunette whined.

Quickly Will sheathed himself in a condom and lube up. "I'm pressing in," he warned as he aligned himself and ever so slowly eased into Connor. He gasped as Connor writhed during entry. It was so tight and hot and so much better than anything he ever felt before. He slid slowly in until he was fully seated and stopped.

He panted out, "Give me the go ahead Con," and waited feeling both their heart beats through his sheathed member.

Connor gave a series of short huffs before relaxing around him and letting out a long sigh softly saying, "Now."

Will still did not move. He thought, _it is like Connor is part of me. We are almost like one person. It is so intense and disarming._ Connor hissed, "Will, babe… love… I need you to move."

At that Will looked into the intense glow in his lover's eyes, _he was so incredibly exposed_. He snapped out of his thoughts at the physical need to move caught up with him. He began to slide slowly in and out trying to find that sweet spot again, trying to build a steady rhythm, and trying not to pass out from the delightful squeezing heat. Connor reached between them to stroke his member. With a shift of his hips he found the spot he wanted as evident by the, "Oh, baby!" he shouted. After that he shifted into a high speed making sure to hit that spot again and again.

He felt a floating coil unwind within him as he ground into his boyfriend. He gazed down at his heavy lidded eyes. _The sweet anguish on Connor's face was so…_ He closed his eyes to Connor's vulnerability and concentrated on holding off as long as possible. When he thought it was about to overpower him, warm slick ropes of cum scatter over both their chests as he brunette screamed and contracted tightly around him. Will almost blacked out as his own white hot orgasm struck, he pulsed inside the convulsing warm space, and shook uncontrollably.

Slowly he eased out and flopped down lifeless over Connor as his heart beat raced.

"Babe, that was fucking fantastic!" The older boy exclaimed stroking the others cheek.

"So, very intense." Will offered feeling overwhelmed by it all.

"Yeah, it was great hu?" Connor panted as they both came down.

Will got up to clean up himself off and came back with a damp cloth for Connor. After that the older boy grabbed him and pulled him down. They lay face to face as he gave him a languid passionate kiss.

The blond pulled away as soon as possible and rolled over to spoon his back to Connor's chest. Connor flung an arm around his waist and signed sleepily. Will was starting to feel very uncomfortable. _That was so intense, too intense. I felt like I could see into Connor's soul._ Will just gazed at the wall anxiously, pretending to sleep. Just about the time he was sure Connor was asleep heard him whisper almost silently to himself, "Gods, I love you."

Will gaped but couldn't move. In the safety of his own head he freaked. _No, No! This is just a fling. Could he love me? I never thought so before tonight, but his eyes when I was inside him. Gods, that was so intimate. I like him and wouldn't hurt him for the world. But this is too much._

 _Could I ever love him? Nico has a girlfriend. I know I should move on. He was never mine and will never be mine. Yet…_

 _Fuck, I still love what I can't have and I can't move on. Now, just fucking now, that I have done the deed, I realize I don't, and won't ever, love Connor. It doesn't matter about Nico, I'm still hung up on him. I'm a selfish shit to do this to my friend. Gods Connor I'm sorry._

All these thoughts swirled ever more chaotically through his head. He was awake for a long time, but it wasn't enough time to quell the panic, longing, and guilt; or to decide how to let Connor down easy.

* * *

~* Back to Present- 8 days after the battle with Gaea*~

* * *

Will noticed Nico walking over to him in a detached way while his memories played out. The smaller boy sat down next to him saying nothing. He tore himself away from the unpleasant recollections and took his hand. That was something that he really appreciated about Nico, he knew how to do 'silence'.

After a long while Will started talking, "It was about Connor… and me. I just thought we were just trying for an escape on the verge of war. I was never serious, but he was in too deep. He fell in love. I didn't mean to, but I led him on. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not heartless. He hid how he felt from me. I finally ended things… Only it was a bit too late."

"Uh… What do you mean by too late?" He asked confused.

"Well I, um… I did 'it' with him before I knew how he really felt." He signed, "He let the 'L' word slip out that night when he thought I was asleep. After that I told him I wasn't ready and wouldn't do it again. It was so private, so intimate. Only the deepest mutual love could induce me to do it again. I tried to let him down easy and build more distant between us, but it didn't work. I eventually just had to break cleanly away and avoid him."

"Will you cannot blame yourself for what he felt. Especially if he hid it. I didn't blame Percy for how a felt about him." Nico admitted.

"It just isn't that clear cut here, we dated. I mean how bad would it be if you were in Connor's place? The one you love doesn't love you, but they like you and date you. Wouldn't it get confusing? Then you slept with them, even though you played it like it was nothing. Maybe he hoped I would fall in love. Then I broke it off." Will signed and went on morosely, "Now he has to see me with you. How can I ever make up for it?"

"Will, don't take it so hard. You never said you felt more for him than you did him, right?" Nico reasoned.

"No, never… but I didn't tell him about you until after the incident with Jason. Not only did he see that we were together, but he guessed it was a strong attachment. So I admitted to him I had always wanted you. It is my fault, I should have told him a long time ago. Then maybe he wouldn't have fallen. True, I had no idea you would ever notice me. Actually I think I was just hoping that that I could forget you. It was selfish of me to use him like that." He frowned.

Nico leaned over and raised up slightly to kiss Will's cheek, "I can't believe you really always wanted me?"

Will turned and looked him in the eye, "Yeah, I did and I still do."

Then he chuckled sadly, "Anyway, I kind of knew, deep down anyway, my feelings weren't going to be swayed by a boyfriend, but I tried anyway."

"Don't feel guilt, unfortunately I know what it is like to see the one you want in love with some else. You can't help him move on." Nico said definitively.

"But, I feel so guilty and so wrong for how I treated him." Will agonized.

"You've got to forgive yourself; you just made a mistake. But know this, he is the only one who can let go of his feelings. The only thing you can do is stay away from him and be considerate when you are around him."

Will sagged as he spoke, "I was afraid of that. We'd better cool things off with the PDA."

"Okay, but just in public right? We can do whatever we want in private?" Nico coaxed and winked.

"Hey! Are you trying to corrupt me?" Will demanded.

"Well, yes, I am. I want to catch-up with you." He smirked adding, "What do you say top or bottom?"

Will flared angrily and reprimanded the younger boy as he cuffed his head, "That is so a stupid! Didn't I just tell you it was too soon for me? You are way too young. I should know, because I am too, so keep wishing."

"Hey… Just kidding here!" he squawked. "You really need to lighten up."

Will actually snorted, "I can't believe it. Death boy just told me to lighten up," He complained but smiled anyway and leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

Author's Note: In case you didn't know, Santa Anna winds are strong dry hot winds that occur in southern California. Let me know what you thought of Will's point of view. I plan to alternate between them as the story continues. Next up will be Connor.

Thanks for the reviews,

Anne


	3. Chapter 3 - April: Drizzle

**A Heart's Abyss**

Chapter 3 – April Drizzle - Connor

Authors note: Welcome to my next segment starring Connor. This has under age smut/ boy x boy in the flashback near the end, so take heed and you have been warned.

* * *

~*Present- Mid-August*~

* * *

Connor had finally convinced Travis to let him do the regular 'black market' shopping run by himself. Travis had gone ultra-protective since his breakdown over Will's fading at the apology. He told his brother not to expect him back soon but, he still had to swear on the river Styx that he would not do anything 'stupid'. As shell shocked as he felt at his lowest point, he was never suicidal. In his opinion you couldn't have gone through so much danger and death in the Titian and Giant wars, if you were even the least bit suicidal and survive.

He could feel that he was beginning to pull out of his 'Emo' phase. Really he was just looking for a break from Travis and his cabin mates all too patronizing concern and intense observation. Instead of heading straight to the store he went to his favorite spot, the ocean cliff just outside of town. He felt settled by the stillness and privacy of that small strip of wilderness, even if it was 'their' place.

He found it was not quite so painful to think about them together now. The first couple of days he hardly notice anything around him except Will and Nico joined at the hips. How had Will even been attracted to that creepy kid who had spent most of the last few years with ghosts? He could not imagine someone more unlike Will. Yet the son of Apollo had a gift for seeing what was special about others. He knew that Connor was more than just a mischief-maker. It was part of what made him a good healer, but it was more. He didn't just see the real person, he made them shine for everyone to see.

And damn if he wasn't right, there was a lot more to di Angelo than met the eye. He was wicked in battle, utterly determined to defeat evil, and had shown incredible allegiance for someone who had always shunned camp life. He saved all their butts in the last two wars. It was hard for Connor to actually despise the son of Hades. He couldn't even fault Nico for falling for Will, he had after all.

What was really inducing him to melancholy was that Will never actually wanted him. _I knew that he didn't feel the same, but_ _I had thought Will might be slowly falling for me, too. I knew he was sad, still I thought I had helped. How could I have been so wrong? Well really, how could I have been so blind?_

 _What else had I lie to myself about?_ He squirmed uncomfortably. _What about Will's reluctance for anything physical after they had slept together?_ He was struck with a grim thought; _had he pushed himself on the younger boy? What about before then? When had the blond's reluctance started? Could it have been there that first time they came here?_

* * *

~ Flashback April ~

* * *

Connor smiled to himself seeing Will walking alone up the hill to one of the camp's black SUVs. As he got closer the son of Hermes schooled his expression to look irritated and demanded, "How long are we going to have to wait for Cecil?"

"He is not coming," Will answered shaking his head. "He basically refused to come saying he needed to work on the Argo II today. What is weird is last night he sounded excited to get out of camp for a while."

"His loss! We have a pretty long shopping list here curtesy of Leo. Let's get moving so we can get back before curfew." Both boys climbed into the vehicle and drove out of camp into a morning drizzle.

"Want to stop in town for a coffee for the road?" He suggested.

"Not really, but I know you want to stop. What is the deal with you can strong coffee? Aren't you already hyper enough?" Will complained. Rain seemed to always make him irritable.

"If we stop I'll get you a hot chocolate," He offered.

"Yeah alright, only if I get a Venti." Will countered offered.

"For you anything." Connor chuckled.

It was about 9am when they walked into the coffee shop Will flipped his windbreaker's hood down and Connor just shook out his brown curls. Connor quickly rattled out his order for a Venti double caf latte to the cashier and turned gaze at Will. As he studied the menu Connor studied the blond appreciatively. _Cecil is a standup guy for bowing out. I can't wait for a long romantic day with Will. I want to show him just how good we can be together. Damn, he is gorgeous with his sparkled sun streaked hair, his golden-brown skin with faint freckles, his rosy soft lips, his bright cerulean eyes. How I wish I could just reach over and nipple on his earlobe right now. Then I'd work my way down his neck and collar bone just peeking out of his tee-shirt…._

"Sir?" Connor was startled out of his daydream by the cashier. Will was starting to gawk and he could see his dazed doe eyed look reflected in the younger boy's eyes before he winked and turned to the pay the bill. The younger boy blushed brightly and Connor smirked at his discomposure that he labeled as awkwardness. He daringly laced his arm under Will's jacket, clutched him by the waist in a tight possessive way as he led him over to the pick-up counter. Will followed cumbersomely letting his hands hang limp.

When they stop Will propped his left arm up to lean on Connor's shoulder in a causal friendly way instead of an embrace, much to Connor's disappointment. That is when he decided to pushed it by turning to face him and leaning his head to rest on Will's shoulder. He whispered right in his ear blowing softly, "It sure is nice to have you all to myself." Sure enough Will shivered slightly as he turned to look at Connor. His blush came back in full force and the brunette smiled. _He is so damn adorable._ Will looked away flustered and studied the bulletin board.

When their drinks where called, Will took the opportunity to twist away from Connor's hold. Connor frowned inwardly at Will's distance and followed him to the camp SUV. Only on the way out did he notice how many people were staring at them. _Shit, Will was likely embarrassed and he hadn't even noticed. It would take some time to make up for this, but they had all day. He could wait until they were somewhere more private._

After a far too long silence from the pensive blond Connor offered an apology for the hug. Will was surprisingly casual about it, "It really is not a big deal. It just caught me off guard." Then he effectively ended the conversation by changing the subject, "Have you ever been attacked by monsters during a shopping trip?"

Connor launched into stories about the many illicit shopping trips when he and Travis ran into trouble. Usually they 'borrowed' a camp vehicle. It was only since working on the Argo II that Connor was actually authorized to make shopping trips. Maybe it because Chiron was effectively in charge with Olympus silent. Chiron was even willing to let him return late, so he could take Will on a date. His anticipation about this surprise date had been high, but now he was mildly uneasy about Will's response. He pushed that to the back of his mind as he continued his often told story on automatic.

They spent the next several hours working through the many stops on Leo's shopping list and Connor became increasingly uneasy about Will. At first glance he seem the same as ever, but he could tell that a thinly veiled sadness was permeating him yet again. It was a randomly a sulk that never quite seemed to fit with occurrences around camp. Then other times he was laughing as if nothing had never happened, but it was still there in the depths of his eyes. He wondered; he wanted to help, but had no words to broach the subject. He felt like all he could do was to try to pull him up.

About midway back Connor pulled into a lobster and steak house for dinner. As soon as Will undid his seatbelt he quickly snatched his arm and drew him into a kiss. He brought his hand up and cupped the blond's face. He pressed gentle as he waited for entry into Will's mouth. As he roamed he stroked his tongue across the roof of the other's mouth and curled around his tongue to gently pull on it, eliciting a shuttering moan. At that he ended the kiss, while stroking Will's cheeks with his thumbs. "I've been dying to do that all day." After another few minutes melting into Will's lips and mouth they broke apart. "Come on, it is time for our reservations."

Will blinked and then pulled back to get out. They walked in before Connor noticed the other's glare. After they order drinks Will started angrily, "You planned this? You asked Cecil to lie to me?"

"Will, babe, I just wanted it to be a surprise." Connor back peddled frantically.

"Getting a friend to lie to me is not cool, Connor." Will chastised him and crossed his arms.

"He was alright with it, but I'm sorry. I should have just asked you." Connor frowned recalling how Cecil had been reluctant about that part of the plan, too.

"Yeah, but you didn't. You just had to sneak around. You shouldn't have even gone to the 'date' zone, Connor. It makes us seem so serious. We are just having a good time." He huffed indignantly.

Connor looked down as his heart beat wildly. _I've messed up, but I want him so much. I want so much more from us. I can't even think of not being with him. Shit, I am totally hooked. And he just shot me down. Okay, damage control time._ With forced casualness he answered, "Oh, I know. I just thought it would be a nice change of pace. You know I can't work on the Argo II anymore after that incident with the nail gun. We aren't need back at camp until late today. You know I'm new to the lifestyle and I wanted to try out a date. It's not about us; it's about being openly bi. So, relax Will." He laughed lightly and thought _please take the 'I just found out I'm bi' argument. It is true in a way. I never knew until you that I could be so into a guy._

Will did seem to back down at that argument, but he was still affronted. To lighten the mood Connor quickly launched into a story of how he used a nail gun for one of his first pranks. As he spoke and the dinner went on he carefully studied Will. He slowly went from affronted, to reconciled, to his usually self by the end of dinner. As they ate desert Connor mischievously licked the ice cream off his spoon and noticing how the younger boy's eyes followed the complicated swirls of his tongue. He smirked inwardly at the reaction biding his time.

By the time he finished paying for the bill Connor tentatively covered the golden tanned hand laying on the table with his own. He was relieved to when Will flipped his hand over and they awkwardly held hands upside down. He gave Will a sly look and winked. Will gave him a grin with heavy lidded eyes and licked his lips. Connor's mouth dropped open for just a second before he broke into an eager and sinful grin. He drop cash for the bill on the table and pulled Will up abruptly and race out of the restaurant to the SUV holding hands. He opened Will's door and pushed him inside to sit with his legs out the door. He wrapped his arms tightly around the younger boy and feverously French kissed him while his lower half stood in the ever present sprinkling rain.

"You shouldn't do that to me. You know I have no control." Connor complained when they broke apart for air.

"Maybe I like that about you." Will countered.

"Damn it babe. You're making it hard to be the responsible one here," He leered.

Will simply laced his hand under his sweatshirt and wrapped his arms around Connor's back, drawing him closer. Then he leaned into nibble, lick, and bite the older boy's neck. After several long minutes he moaned and then panicked grabbing Will's upper arms and pushed him away. He leaned back into the rain grumbling and panting.

"No! Not here! Do you want to go somewhere more private Will?" He asked breathlessly before he could stop himself. _Remember he is only fourteen._ "Wait don't answer yet. You think about it and we'll head back toward camp. Let me know before town if you really want to stop. Remember Will, no pressure, but if we stop it'll mean more than a bit of necking." Will bit his lip and flushed even more after his speech. He gulped as he nodded.

It felt like a long drive back toward camp, but it didn't still his passion for Will one bit. He refused to influence Will and studiously watched the road. Will went silent until they neared town.

"Let's stop." Will blurted out.

The seventeen year old let out a breath he hadn't know he was hold. Immediately his heart raced and nerves jangled. "You mean it, really?"

"Yeah, I'm still hot and bothered from the parking lot, Connor." Will boldly stated with slight breathlessness.

"Shit, Me too, babe, me too." Connor replied.

A few minutes later they pulled up to his favorite cliff overlooking the sea as the sun was setting. The rain had finally ended, but it was still damp and chilled outside. Connor improvised by getting a tarp from the shopping trip and laying his blanket over it to watch the sun set. It was still a bit chilly with just Will's windbreaker and his sweatshirt. They snuggled arms wound inside each other's jackets and kissed during the sun set, but it was just too cold to uncover any skin.

"Babe we need to move to the car or, much to my disappointment, we could leave now." Connor reluctantly offered.

Will said nothing, but got up and climbed into the SUV passenger seat with Connor standing dejected a little away from him. Then the blond stripped off his jacket and T-shirt leaving his golden tan chest bare. Connor groaned slightly as he quickly moved the seat all the way back and leaned the seat back down. He stripped down to his bare chest throwing his clothes on the driver's seat. With a leer he climbed in side by side and pulled the door closed behind him.

The intensity of their kisses ramped up as their bare skin rubbed together. They became sloppier as arousal fogged Connor's mind. He eagerly nibbled his way down to the tan chest. He spent long minutes licking, tasting and finally nipping each of Will's taunt nipples. He worked his way down until he was kneeling on the floorboards with his hands gripping Will hardened length through his jeans.

"Can I?" He asked as he curled his tongue into Will belly button causing the boy to shutter.

"You'd better," He panted.

At that he pulled at the jean button open and then the zipper down. He reached under Will's waistband to slide the jeans down to his upper thigh as Will raise his hips. He kept his hands holding his ass cheeks as he mouthed his member through his knit boxer briefs. As a spot of pre-cum stained his underwear, Connor took his head in his mouth through the briefs and sucked hard. "Damn, that feel so good," Will moaned. Connor smiled to himself as his fingers walked up to the waistband and started dragging it down. In the front he used his teeth to hold the waist band up to allow Will's glorious penis to spring free. He repeated the same mouthing motions as before on the tender skin to incoherent chatter from Will. As he took him in Will gasped. As his tongue began the swirling and pulling Will loved so much during kisses. Will placed his hands into Connor's hair and coaxed. "Yes… Con… You're… fab…" He moved a hand to the front holding the base of his member as he bobbed ever deeper. With the other hand he gently explored the crevice of his ass before resting a finger outside his tightly furled hole moving in slow circles. It didn't take long before he came with a garbled cry.

Connor slid up to lay over him. He slid down his jeans to rub his erection over Will's stomach. Will emerged from his afterglow enough to reach between them and stroke his weeping length. They kissed with Will plundering his mouth and pulling on his tongue. As Will attacked his neck sucking and biting ever more zealously, Connor tipped over the edge and spilled between them calling Will's name. They stayed that way for a long time, enjoying the closeness, the afterglow, and leisure necking before returning to camp.

* * *

~*Back to Present- Mid-August*~

* * *

That evening as Connor sat with the Hermes cabin around the campfire he saw Will and Nico arrive. Only then did he realize that he had not seen them much in what seemed like several days. Even more surprising they split up: Will joined the Apollo cabin and Nico went to sit with Percy and Jason. Connor instinctively shot slight glances at Will, but as the evening drew on he was actively watching the blond. He was astounded when Will, instead of leaving with Nico walked over to him.

"Connor, can we take a walk?" He asked nervously.

"Solace, what do you want?" Travis replied belligerently.

"Travis, chill! I'm alright." Connor ordered, "Yeah, I'd like to talk Will. Let's go."

They walked in an awkward silence with until they got to the beach.

Will started without preamble, "Connor, I want to clear the air. I'm sorry I led you on."

"You can't blame yourself. I'm the older one here, I'm supposed to be the responsible one." He reluctantly replied.

"Still I didn't tell you about Nico. I was avoiding it and I hoped, rather than believed, I might have change of heart." He confessed.

"Yeah, well I never felt like you lead me on. I was so in my own bubble that I just sort of assumed you were with me." The brunette lamented.

"Still, I knew I wasn't and I should have told you, so. I just wanted to spare your feelings, only it didn't work."

Connor stop and looked Will in the eye. He knew this would hurt but he had to say for himself as much as for Will. "The truth is you did tell me and I didn't listen. You always said it was just a fling. It is like your compassionate heart to take the blame, but it was really my own damn fault. I was into too deep before I knew it and I couldn't let go. I'm finally ready to admit it and I have to move on." Will searched his eyes and he let all his emotions show: the hurt, the love, the guilt, the regret.

Will nodded, "Con, you're a prince. I so wish I could have…"

The older boy cut him off, "Yeah, I know. I have one last question and please be honest. I was always in the lead. Did I ever, you know, push you too far; get too physical for you?" He was determined to know the worst.

Will contemplated for a moment, "Um… I can't say I ever felt coerced, but you did know how to get me riled up. The only regret I have is what it meant to you when I could not return your affection."

He nodded, "Alright, it was weighing on my mind." Then, he reluctantly added the final blow, "You know, I see how different you are with Nico. You guys are good together and you seem happy and more um… whole. I see now what was missing with us, so stop feeling guilt about me. I want you to know I'm glad you have him." At that he turned and walked away. Heard a few sputtered words from Will, but he moved briskly away leaving Will standing alone. He refused to look back or to contemplate any more fantasies about his first love. It was over and he had to move on.

* * *

Authors Note:

I hope you have enjoyed it so far. If so let me know with a review or better yet a favorite.

Thanks,

Anne


	4. Chapter 4 - March: Erratic Squalls

**A Heart's Abyss**

Chapter 4 – March: Erratic Squalls

Authors note: This chapter starts where the last ended with Will just after speaking with Connor. No warnings this time.

* * *

~ *Present - Mid-August Continued* ~

* * *

Will sputtered and stared dumbfounded after the retreating form of Connor. _He actually wishes us well? What does he mean by 'what was missing'? I thought I was happy enough with him. What was I like? Sure I was just a little overwhelmed by the war. Then of course I was in persistent turmoil over Nico. Nico...He was what made being with Connor so soothing, yet so complicated._ He turned to gaze at the ocean while his thoughts lingered on the past.

* * *

~ *Flashback – March* ~

* * *

They had been dating just long enough that seeing Connor at the infirmary was not unusual, but not many people knew about them. Today Connor was entertaining a few of the newer patients with stories about the battle of Manhattan. Sadly it seemed like the young campers got hurt most often and with war coming more campers then ever were here off season. Will quietly sorted the latest deliveries. He smiled to himself discovering he was rather satisfied with the older impish trickster. He liked the effortlessness of their friendship, getting lost in his probing kisses, and the feel of arms around him. Connor made him laugh, yet he was perceptive enough to cater his moods that were an ever changing target now that they were on the cusp of war.

He was looking down sorting compression bandages by size when he sensed a change in the room. It was somehow more vibrant and it perplexed him momentarily. He looked up to see Nico di Angelo scowling as he walked in the infirmary door. Will's breath caught and his heart drummed in staccato. Di Angelo always look like a dark angel to him. He had angelic dark soft curls, clear olive skin that glowed like porcelain, and enormous glorious chocolate eyes. That was countered by his defiant acerbic attitude epitomized by his worn black aviator jacket, his black stygian sword on its chain belt, and the ever present dark circles under his eyes. He felt his heart shatter and then liquefy just seeing him again. _Fuck, I forgot how much I… Will, damn it, don't even think it._

After emerging from his brief internal dialog, he began noticing other things about the demigod. Like how tired and strained he looked. The turbulent look in his eyes told of distress and suffering. _If only I could help him. If only he would let me._

"Solace, can I have some ambrosia and nectar?" Nico asked in a curt guardedly tone.

"Um… Sure…" He barely was able to force out those words due to his discomposure. It had been nearly three months since he last saw him. He felt a fissure open under him when he remember why he was gone and asked, "Any leads?" He tactfully left off the 'on Percy' knowing that just hearing the name would be torture. He blushed to remember _Nico feels about Percy like I feel about him._

Nico gritted his teeth and growled as he radiated anguish, "Not a hint. The only thing I know for sure is he is not dead." Will had to look away.

"How do you know that?" He questioned spontaneously as he turned to the supply cabinet. After a few moments of silence he looked over at Nico to see him glaring at him in infuriated silently.

"Oh, son of Hades thing right? You can sense death. How does that work?" The blond asked. _Please let me just stop saying stupid things?_

The dark hair boy snarled in wrath, "Just the supplies." Instead of reflecting back anger Will thought sympathetically, _this must be killing him_.

Softly he said, "Sure, sorry."

He finally seemed to have control of his mouth, but he was still unsettled. _I know what it is like to feel so helpless. How hard has he been pushing himself? He could be more than just tired. Might he also be hurt?_

"Do you need any treatment?" The blond causally asked. He had to be careful to not push too hard or Nico would run.

"No, I'll be fine." Nico shifted uncomfortable and shadowing a hand over his left forearm. That was when the healer noticed the black duct tape holding the jacket sleeve together. _What is he hiding?_

Will handed over the supplies and nonchalantly said, "I'd better take a look. It will only take a second."

Nico huffed but didn't refuse. Will gesture to a private room. "Take off your jacket and shirt, please." Will asked as he went to get his bag. When he came back he found Nico in his black short sleeved tee, removing a make shift bandage. His forearm had a set of four parallel gashes running from elbow to wrist, so deep that he wondered if they hit bone. _How the Hades was he not at least whimpering with a wound like that?_

"Damn Nico! Why in the world didn't you say so right away?" Will chastised, all effort to be nonchalant gone.

"It's not that bad. I figured a little ambrosia would do the trick," He shrugged.

"Wrong! You are staying until you are healed. Two days at least." Will demanded and then raised his hands palm out in front of him in a placating gesture as he forced himself to calm down. "Before you argue, I know you are just going out into danger again. I'd rather you were at least fully healed first."

"No, I have to get out there again." He adamantly grumbled.

"Seriously, how eager are you to die? Monsters can smell demigod blood and those are deep enough they need stitches. Where are you planning to sleep? Because I can tell you are practically sleep walking already. I can give you this private room. At least here you don't have to watch your back. Please stay." _Yep, I am begging_ , He thought remorsefully.

After a long pause the dark hair teen conceded reluctantly. "Alight Solace, but I'm out of here at dawn."

"Deal, now let's get started." He grasped Nico's hand but the boy automatically pulled away.

"Merda!" Nico swore. He had to give it to Nico, he was tough; most campers would have fainted. Nico just grit his teeth and hissed as he cradled his arm.

"Shit, sorry," Will apologized, _Damn, I forgot about his no touching thing._ "Let me hold your hand and I can ease the pain."

He waited for a nod before he clasped his hand and poured nectar over the wound. Nico closed his eyes and gritted his teeth while he worked. Will placed his other hand above the gashes. He could feel the torn muscles, stained tendons, and a hairline fracture as he chanted over the wound. He also sensed his profound fatigue, but thankfully no other injuries. Soon he was able to make both the pain and fatigue receding. He could now feel Nico breathing easier. He gave him some nectar and a pain killer to take while he stitched and bandaged the wound.

Afterward Will offered him a hospital gown to sleep in. Nico ignored him and slipped off his shoes before climbing under the covers fully dressed. He rolled to face the wall without a word. Will sighed relieved that he at least got a night out of Nico, he really didn't expect more.

Next he found the night shift healer he said. "Kayla, I need pull a double tonight."

"What? No way, you've already been here all day." She challenged.

"Yeah, well we have Nico di Angelo here tonight and I don't trust him." Will complained as he forced out the name.

"Why not? We don't have much worth taking." Will rolled his eyes. Everyone gets the wrong idea about him.

"No, I don't trust him to stay all night. If he wakes I want to be here to stop him leaving." He explained.

"Oh! Alright," She had the grace to look a little ashamed of her first reaction. "You know he'll probably leave anyway."

"At least this way I'll know I did my best."

"Okay, after a double you need to take 48 hours off."

"Alright, but only if we don't have any new cases. And thanks."

Will positioned himself to watch the door to the private room and Connor, who was still telling stories. It seemed like such a long time ago when he was musing about Connor, but it had only been about twenty minutes. Then it had been so easy, now he just felt conflicted and despondent.

Soon enough Connor came over smiling, "Why so grim? My stories aren't that bad are they?" he asked as he slung an arm around him.

Will answered distractedly with no more than a quick glancing at Connor, "Nothing like that. Listen, I have a difficult patient to watch tonight. I have to cancel." And he went back to staring at the crack under the door.

"Wait how bad is this case?" He said full of concern.

"No, not bad, but I just need to be here." He answered curtly without even looking at him.

"Burr!" The older boy replied shifting so he stood directly in front of Will, blocking his view of the door. At that Will looked up. Connor was earnestly watching the blond's face.

Will forced a smile and laid his hand on the brunette's chest. He gave him a chaste kiss saying, "Sorry, I just don't like all these stupidly brave and selfless demigods that don't even give themselves time to heal." He complained.

"Who is it this time, Clarisse, Jason, maybe Leo?" Connor chuckled.

"No…" The older boy wrapped his arms around Will waist, "…Nico di Angelo," Came his flat toned reply. He couldn't believe how hard it had been to just say his name as dread engulfed him.

"You mean he isn't just living in the underworld?" he countered confused.

"No, he's looking for Percy and he's not taking care of himself. He is worse than Annabeth." He said with annoyance.

"Whoa, calm down, babe." Connor hugged him tightly. Will leaned into it and put his head on the shorter boy's shoulder. "He'll be alright, you are the finest healer around."

They stayed that way for a long moment before Will mentally shook himself and broke away. "You'll miss the campfire."

"I'll stay if you'd like the company." Connor assured him.

"Nah, I'm fine now," he said dismissively, "I guess it was just a shock seeing him so weak. You'd better go."

After Connor left he quietly let himself into Nico's room. He couldn't stay away. He sat staring at him all night, so glad he was here, if only for a short time. Nico looked so young and peaceful when sleeping at least until the nightmares hit. He flayed and tossed making soft whimpers that occasionally sounded like 'Percy' and once 'Bianca'. In an effort to ease his suffering, the healer stroked his forehead and smoothed his soft black hair, until he transitioned into a deeper sleep. It happened about three times that night.

As dawn broke, Nico finally awoke to find Will asleep in the chair. "What are you doing Solace?" He demanded loudly with his usual angst.

"I'm sorry…" Will mechanically replied without really knowing what he said, then more coherently added, "Please let me look at that wound one more time."

Nico gave him a cold look before holding his arm out for Will. "You weren't there all night, were you? Don't they have other healers around here?" he challenged.

"Yeah, um…I just came in this morning" He hoped his lie was believable instead of 'I am a love sick idiot who had to stay and watch you all sleep'. He removed the bandages and studied the set of dark red rimmed scabs crisscrossed with stitches. Not as good as he wanted, but it had healed enough. He felt the tendons were strong and the fracture was gone. Also, Nico was much less fatigued. He had to accept that he had done all Nico would allow.

After reapplying a longer term bandage he said, "Take it easy the next five days and leave the bandage on as long as possible." He frowned as his hand lingered holding Nico's just a few seconds longer. _He so wished…._

He forced himself to step away, "Alight, you can go, but I recommend getting a decent breakfast here first. That McDonald's food is crap."

Nico just shook his head and walked out without a sound. The blond wistfully watched him go, wondering how long before he saw him again. Then the unwelcomed thought surface, _if I ever see him again._ At that a cold shutter ran through him.

His morbid thoughts of the night resurfaced again. Will had spent the better part of the night reliving the agony of the Titan war, losing Michael and so many others. Almost losing everyone. If it wasn't for Nico - That image of Nico casually strolling up to Kronos flashed in his mind. The sheer nerve was inspiring, but his present fear for Nico's life was overpowering. _And it was all going to happen again._ It was so close last time, yet now even Percy is gone. He wondered, _how could they fight the earth itself?_ As despair engulfed him.

He practically threw himself at Connor when he arrived at the end of his shift. Connor laughed and kissed him back with just as much eagerness. "I guess you missed me?" He clutched him tightly. "Let's get you out of here." He lead him out into the chilly windy morning just throwing Will's jacket over him, so as to not breaking the embrace. Will wondered how he knew not to let him go.

As soon as they were out of the infirmary and near a cabin Will pulled Connor behind it pushed him against the wall. He forced an urgent sloppy kiss on him all tongue and teeth. The brunette was surprised but went with it. That was enough of an invitation for Will. His shoulders and hips pressed Connor in place while his hands snaked under Connor's shirt probing his skin. His mind fogged over with a desperate need. It felt so good to not think; to only feel hot skin and warmth rising inside him. _Nothing is enough, but I have to get away from this cold, empty… hole._

He only became aware again when Connor grabbed his upper arms and forcible shook him. Only then did he realize, that he was practically humping him and he had one hand down the back of his pants feeling his ass.

"Will stop it! What is the deal? We are practically in public." He was stern, but still gentle.

"Um… Sorry… Carried away." Will hedged blushed hotly, dropping his hands, and stepping back. He dropped his head. _Shit, it was working, I almost forgot about the war, about_ _him_ _, about the emptiness._

Connor had a crazy grin on his face, "Frankly, it was terrific, but this is not the time or the place."

Will looked up with a coy grin and glint in his eyes. "Later?"

"Definitely babe," Connor replied snaking his arm around him and leading him away. Will felt his uneasiness come back he walked away.

* * *

~* Return to Present - Mid-August *~

* * *

After that, everyone knew them as boyfriends and they were seldom apart. Yet the blond was deeply conflicted. He had effectively headed off any confessions on Connors part and always shied away from any declarations, saying it was just a fling. He did like Connor, but now he could see he was mostly hiding. Somehow at the time he thought he played it well and he wouldn't hurt him. _Instead I never really deceived Connor, any more than I could deceive myself._

He was stirred from his recollections by shouting. An agitated Nico yelled, "Yo, Solace what the fuck are you doing out here? It is almost curfew."

This caught Will off guard. _That was fury in Nico's voice; could Travis have said something to him? He was on the war path over Connor's breakdown. If he upset Nico_ … He shook his head and paled slightly at the thought of how Nico's powers could easily get out of control.

Will replied instantly, "Just thinking, I lost track…" But he was cut off with a bellow.

"You Lost Track? You said you wanted a short talk with Connor. Not to come to some secluded spot. And do you know how long you have been gone? It has been at nearly an hour. What have you two been doing?" The angst flowed over his face and jealousy flare in Nico eyes. Fortunately no darkness was gathering around him.

"Nico, all we did was talk for about five minutes." He tried to placate the angry demigod and was relieved as he seemed to back down somewhat.

"Then why are you looking so uncomfortable?" Then he added in a quieter petulant voice, "If you want to go back to him… I don't need you." He pulled out his 'I don't care' mask and fitted it hastily into place.

 _I can't believe he thinks I don't want him, again._ It made Will's own anger blaze. "Yeah, well I'll have you know _you_ are the reason for all our past problems. If it wasn't for you I could have been happy with Connor." He glowered as he poked a finger at Nico's chest. The dark hair teen's mask fell as the words hit him and cut deeply.

The blond paused momentarily to savor that he now could discompose the untouchable Ghost King. Then his natural compassion raced in and he continued. "And I'm not letting you go for anything, not even your own stupidity!" He bellowed.

The play of emotions on Nico's face was stunning. He went from dismay, to disbelief, to surprise, to relief, to annoyance in the few moments Will's words took to be digested.

"Whatever," Nico said flatly as he turning and started stomping back up to camp.

Will smiled pausing to reveling in the play of emotions the son of Hades had let slip before he chased after Nico. When he was close enough he threw an arm around the smaller boy and kissed his cheek. Nico gave him his usual glare, but did not shrug out from under Will's arm.

When they got to Nico's cabin the blond smirked saying, "Are you going to ask me in?"

His expression softened, "Maybe, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Will shrugged, "Sure, it isn't all that interesting, but if you'd like to know…" and Nico lead them inside.

He flopped on his black couch instantly comfortable, like a cat. Will slipped off his flip-flops before sitting with his back to Nico in the center. He then twisting to bring his legs onto the couch and draping himself around Nico. The smaller boy wrapped his arms around Will's torso pulling him closer. He sighed in comfort just to be here, so close to Nico, together.

"Much better," Will gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "Well it is embarrassing, but it was always me and Connor and you."

"Me?" Nico asked in disbelief with an underlining thrilled acknowledged deep in his chocolate eyes that made Will smile.

He went on, "I just couldn't get the upcoming war and you in danger off my mind. Tonight Connor surprised me when he said knew something wrong between us but he didn't want to admit it. Then he said we were good together and wished us well. I just got lost thinking about that time, last March, when you stayed the night."

"Really…I remember…" Nico mused recalling that night, "But… I was an asshole to you."

"Yeah, well, I've never taken you at face value." Will confessed, "You had a lot on your plate."

"Actually I was touched you cared enough to make me stay." Nico was gazing deeply and sincerely into his blue eyes.

"You really noticed?" He was shocked and touched.

"Yeah, I did." He said sheepishly.

Will heart filled as he pressed his lips eagerly to Nico's cool mouth. He kissed him urgently, but in a different way than he had with Connor. Now he was excessively present. He wanted to go slow to hold on to every subtle nuance. It was the opposite of that empty lust, he was overflowing with love. He truly wanted Nico in every way, yet he was satisfied to simply snuggle, kiss, and hug all night. It was enough to be here with his Nico.

* * *

Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it. I have to say writing Nico is my favorite. I hope put in more of him later, but next time it will be Connor in his new home.

Thanks,

Anne


	5. Chapter 5 - February: Melting Frost

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 5 – February: Melting Frost –Connor

* * *

~* Present - Early September *~

* * *

Travis had changed, Connor lamented. He had always saw him as his partner in crime with his messy hair, an untucked camp tee-shirt, worn jean shorts, and disintegrating tennis shoes. Now those 16 month that separating them seemed immense. He always had been protective of him in battle, but usually Connor was the one to counseled restraint in everything else. Since his breakdown over Will, Travis had become like a worried overprotective father. In the past week since they moved from Camp-Blood to the southern college town of Titan he was worse than ever. He wanted to get away from his tedious advice and constant solicitous looks. Connor had striven to put Will behind him, but Travis' assiduousness was anything but helpful and, frankly, school would be a relief.

As he got ready for his first day Connor chuckled to recall Travis on the day he took him to register for high school. He was so out of character as his legal guardian that he barely recognized him. He was smoothly shaven, had brushed his hair, and wore a button down shirt with khakis. It was so strange to hear him called Mr. Stoll and have him talk about study habits and college preparation. Connor was determined to get as many Advance Placement (AP) courses as possible to reduce his gap to Travis in college even with his ADHD. Their cover story was that he and Travis had spent the past five years at the summer camp/strawberry farm that his grandfather (Chiron) owned. Since he needed them to help with winter maintenance, they were home schooled. Supposedly he had passed away, so Travis became Connor's guardian.

As Travis dropped him off at school he felt confident albeit a little wary due the sheer number of students. This school had about three times the number of demigods at camp Half-Blood and camp Jupiter combined. He tried to dress up a bit by wearing a Hawaiian shirt, less worn cargo shorts, and new sandals. Of course he had a wicked 17 inch celestial bronze knife concealed in a hidden pocket of the shorts because this was the real world and monsters happen. Thankfully he was able to negotiate the crowds and find his classes without much problem. The general chaos was familiar even if the faces weren't. And it was nice to have so many new girls around. He had high hopes that his plan would work.

He was a little reluctant to initiate new conversions since he had been so steeped in the invisible demigod world. He figured nobody even knew about, let alone had any interest in Greek gods. Instead he focus on all the girls he saw. If he could just get infatuated with some girl maybe his libido would stop constantly dwelling on Will.

He kept to himself until his 4th period AP calculus class when a boy walked in with an imperial gold sword strapped to his side. _What the fuck?_ Connor was staring at the sword opened mouthed until the broad chested boy with short dark hair paused next to his seat. He looked straight at him, then his bead necklace, and raised an eyebrow. Connor nodded and the boy winked before sitting next to him. He turned his arm over to show the tattoo burned into his left forearm and said, "Your new here right? So, let's talk after class."

"Sure," Connor said with his mind spinning. A Roman demigod, here… in his high school. The tattoo had crossed speared for Mars, and five stripes.

After class when most students had filed out the boy turned to Connor, "I'm Warren Zerick, Roman Legacy, 4th cohort."

"I'm Connor Stoll, Greek, Hermes Cabin Head Counselor." He gave his full title know the Roman perchance for formality.

"So any other Greeks here?" He asked curiously.

"My brother is at the university, but I'm the only one in this school." He answered.

"My friend Jules is the only other Roman around. Come have lunch with me and I'll introduce you to everyone. Just watch the demigod talk around the mortals." He warned. Connor idly wondered what this girl Jules was like and if she was cute.

"Speaking of. How can you wear that sword around?" Connor asked as they walked to the cafeteria.

"The mist, nobody has ever seen it. But I have had to use it a few times." He said patting his sword hilt, "Are you unarmed?"

"Nah," He pulled out the knife half way out of his concealed side pocket, "I just keep it undercover. This is my first time in a High School, I didn't want to be too obvious. So you think I could bring my sword tomorrow?"

"Sure, don't worry about it. You want to train sometime? Jules and I could use a new sparring partner." He asked as they went through the cafeteria line.

Connor pulled out his most mischievous grin, "You bet, but I should warn you. I was trained by the demigod that killed Kronos." Connor was being loyal. Even though Luke had become Kronos, he knew it was he who had killed the Titan in the end.

Warren's mouth dropped open, "You are so joking. I heard some story about a Greek defeating Kronos, but I don't even believe half of it."

"I'm not sure what you heard, but that part is true," He confirmed.

The roman looked stunned as they left the line. Warren headed to a table near the back of the cafeteria with several other teens including one with long deep auburn haired and a sword belt. He could only see Jules from the back. She was tall & angular. She wore a deep purple shirt and black skinny jeans. She had shimmering thick long hair that hung half way down her back and he was already dying to touch the silken strands. _This might turn out to be a very good day,_ he mused as Warren said "Here is Jules."

As Jules turned he was startled enough to gap. _He_ was an Asian beauty with round eyes, flawless skin, and delicate bone structure. The emerald earrings he wore brought out the green in his gray eyes and his full lips were lovely. _Fuck he is pretty!_ Connor was instantly interested, it didn't matter that he was male. He stared for a few moments and hoped it looked like the shock of seeing another demigod.

Jules stood up and shook his hand. Connor thought, _who in the Hades stands to shakes hands anymore?_ "I'm Julian Nguyen." _Damn, even his voice is melodious._ Jules turned up his left forearm to show his tattoo with a dove for Venus, and five stripes. _Venus that explains why he is so beautiful. He has to be a demigod, not a legacy._

"Connor Stoll," he replied automatically and sat down next to Jules. He had a tiny Asian girl next to him in a pixie cut that Warren introduced as Suzuki. Warren sat on the other side of the table with his girlfriend, Ashley; her friend Lauren; and another two boys Jacob & Garret from the football team. Connor barely noticed them. They started asking the usual questions about him and he gave all the cover story responses. He kept giving Jules covert looks as he spoke. He noticed that he would often quietly speak to Suzuki leaning in close, but she seemed too shy to talk to anyone else. He soon began to think of her as his girlfriend.

Soon he was telling an edited version of a St Patrick's Day green hair dye prank on the Aphrodite cabin. He was please at their laughter, but his stomach gave a little flip when he saw Jules laughing. His face was exquisite: his gray-green eyes lit up, rose coloring entered his cheeks where he had the cutest dimples, and his whole face crinkled in mirth. Right then it became Connor objective in life to make Jules laugh. He launched into his best stories while carefully removing any magical or godly references. He soon had the whole table in loud peals of laughter that made the other students stare.

As lunch broke up Connor was lucky enough to find his last two classes AP US History and Health were both with Jules. Morosely he thought, _maybe getting the hots for a straight boy isn't really a good idea, but being a son of Aphrodite he would likely be vane. He decided that he would just be a whole lotta eye candy._

On the way to class they exchanged their demigod stats. He was a demigod as he expected. It turned out he grew up around Warren because their parents were friends. And yes, he was is the battle with Gaea.

"I think I remember you, but I thought you and your brother were twins."

"Nope, he is 16 months older and I'm the better looking one." Connor answered with his usual bravado.

Jules gave him a quick look up and down and grinned, "Oh, yeah?" and he winked.

Connor felt himself blush, but quickly looked straight ahead and wondered, _Might he really be flirting with me? What about Suzuki? Maybe he is just playing with me._

"I guess someone as handsome as wouldn't think so." He answered with a slight smirk waiting for an 'of course I am' attitude. The roman softly turned his head away appearing embarrassed. _What do you know? He is working the innocent angle._

They sat in the back of AP US history whispering Roman and Greek versions of US history that would never be included in class. He slipped in a touch or wink whenever he could just to see what the supposedly 'shy' son of Aphrodite would do. His reactions were endearingly coy instead of vane. Connor tried to keep telling himself that he was just taunting him, but he began to like Jules against his better judgment. He seemed so genuine and humble, more like Piper than any other Aphrodite child he knew.

In health, an easy class, they just kept on talking. Jules was an interesting mix of formality and ease. He was always polite and correct, but he had no problem talking through class. Connor was becoming fascinated and chided himself, _don't even get any ideas about making a move on him_.

Conversely as soon as class was over he found himself asking, "Jules, you want to spar this afternoon? Do you think Warren would want to join us?" He asked as casually as possible, although he really just wanted Jules to himself.

"Sorry I can't," and he really did sound sorry, "I have marching band. How about Wednesday?" He offered with a subtle gleam in his eye, "That is my free afternoon. Warren is in football all week. He can join us on the weekend."

"Yeah, okay. But… Um… I hate to invite myself, but Travis and I only have an apartment. My bad. Do you have a yard?" He asked sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. Of course we can use my house." He added, "We just need to take Suzuki home, too," much to Connor's annoyance.

"Does she live nearby?" He fished cautiously. None of their discussion had included a mention of her and now that he thought about it.

"Too close, she's my step-sister." Jules grimaced slightly and then he smiled at Connor's nonplussed look. His stomach flip again as he wondered if Jules might actually be interested in him.

So he did the only thing possible, he ran. "Bye, see you tomorrow." Connor called as he pushed through the crowd at the exit to climb into Travis' car and hid his blush. He said a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods. _Yep, he was definitely interested now._

His grin was so wide that Travis said, "So, High School was not so bad?" with a smirk. He quickly schooled his smile and leaned into the air conditioning to cover his blush.

"I might have made a friend or two." Connor tried to be non-committal. He must not have seen Jules or he would have commented on the sword. He decided to keep Jules as his secret. He wanted to think about this. _I've never had such an instant attraction to anyone before. Is it just his beauty or something more? Probably just a crush, after all it had taken years of friendship with Will before I saw what was there. If this is a crush it was the strongest crush he'd ever had included Katie Gardner. And she was the subject of the fieriest augments he and Travis had ever had._

* * *

~* Flashback - February *~

* * *

Will had always been a good friend to Connor: easy going, laughing at pranks, and ever ready to help with injuries. But lately being with him was something like an addiction. He sought him out at campfires and made excuses to go to the infirmary. He supposed it started when Travis left for college and he was alone in a way he never been before. After that he latched onto Will. They went easily from friends to best friends as fall continued in winter, but recently things had changed for him.

If he had to place the change it was over Christmas break when he had watched Will kissing Mitchel during a game of spin the bottle. He had always thought he was into girls, but as he looked at Will he started to think of him as cute and later sexy, but he brushed off those thoughts. Then, after a short stay in the infirmary, where he saw Will change his shirt in front of him, his logical mind just sort of unlatched. After that he started dreaming about Will. First it was just kissing, next touching, and then a few nights later he had his first wet dream about the blond and woke feeling rather muddled.

He spent the next few nights' awake thinking about all the girls he was attracted to and then how he felt about guys he knew, not just Will. It shocked him when he realized that back when Luke was teaching them swordsmanship it was more than hero worship he felt. His thoughts about how hot Luke's body was were more sexual in nature then he had admitted to himself at the time. Ugh, his own half-brother, too. Over the next week he took a good look at all the guys around camp in a sexual way. He was not disgusted, rather he was intrigued and it sunk in, he was bisexual.

Then he began to feel curious what sex with a guy would be like and his mind went eagerly deep into the gutter with thoughts of Will's buff surfer body. He would love to savor his eloquent lips. He knew, as did the rest of the camp, that Will was gay. He would rate guy's butts right along with the Aphrodite girls.

He would just ask him out if it wasn't for Will's age. As much as he looked like he was 17, like Connor, he was really only 14. Sure he was a mature 14, especially since being made lead healer and Apollo cabin head counselor, but sometimes it is better to avoid temptation. He was determined to push down his feelings for the boy.

As he began to think of Will differently he also slowly realized Will was lonely, too. He had been really close to both fallen Apollo head counselors, Lee and Michael. Now they were facing another epic prophecy. As lead healer Will saw many of the fallen, die. Hermes cabin, by virtue of being the largest cabin, had lost the most campers. He knew what that grief was like.

After another week he went against his own better judgment and decided to ask the healer out anyway. He wanted to ease some of Will's sadness and they could take things slow.

"Will, I need to speak with you." Connor started without preamble so he wouldn't chicken out.

Will agreed easily but with a curious nonplus look. It was too cold to stay outside so they went to the infirmary, it was empty. They sat next to each other in one of the private rooms.

"What's up Connor? Are you in trouble over some prank?" Will asked consolingly.

"No, nothing like that. Umm… How did you know you were gay?" He asked biting his lip.

He shrugged, "I always just knew. I tried to get the boys in kindergarten to kiss me, it worked about half the time. As much as I like girls, I was never attracted to them. What else do you want to know?"

"Um… I think I'm bi and um… I have someone, a guy, I'm interested in." He mumbled out.

"Really, I though Katie… Never mind, welcome to the boys club." Will chimed up supportively.

"Have you ever asked anyone out?" He said getting nervous as he approached his real question.

"Yeah a few of times, but it is always a gamble. You never really know who is interested. I've only had one date before."

"So how would you recommend going about it?" He hedged.

"Just be yourself… for you I'd say be your more serious self. Not your prankster self. Do you have any indication if he likes you?" The blond asked.

"We are friends, but I'm not sure how he feels. At least I know he's gay." Connor began sweating. At that Will turning to look at him with a question on his lips. Will was the only one open gay at camp this winter. Connor nodded at him slightly before leaning forward slowly. Will's eyes went wide, but he leaned toward Connor, too. The brunette closed the distance for a short chaste kiss. When he pulled back they were both smiling, he probably looked particularly stupid with his glowing blush.

"H-How? W-When?" Will stuttered out.

"Who wouldn't like a hot caring healer like you? And it just started growing this winter until I couldn't get you off my mind." He answered growing even redder, "So, do you want to go out on Valentines Days?"

"Um… Connor, you should know I'm not… I don't want a boyfriend." Will sound hesitant, yet he looked intently at him.

"Sure, we don't have too, I'm just curious you know." He back peddled. "I really would like another kiss, though?"

Will looked at him and smiled in a not so innocent way placing a hand on his cheek and leaned forward to oblige. He had such soft lips, but such a dominate technique that had Connor melting. As his tongue surged into his mouth he moaned and clutch the healers head to keep him in place. _Fuck, shit, damn!_ It was the best kiss of Connor's life, so far. It was a good twenty minutes later that they were panting and disheveled as they left the infirmary and silently separated.

Connor signed contentedly. No matter what Will said about not wanting a boyfriend Connor was all a flutter. _I can keep my distance; at least I think I can._ So that was when he started lying to himself as much as he lied to Will.

* * *

~* Present - Early September *~

* * *

It had always been about personality with Will. Not that he didn't appreciate his looks, just it was not a deciding factor for him. It took the long slow friendship before he recognized how he felt. That was what made how Will had felt about Nico so unreal to him. How could anyone fall so fast?

Now he wondered, why had Jules caught him so off-guard? What was so different about him? Was it a Venus thing, but the other Aphrodite's kids didn't do this to him. Charm-speak felt different, like floating in a cloud. This was sharp, deep, and throbbing. Could this be what Will had felt when he first saw Nico? No, couldn't be. This just had to be a reaction to all the heart ache he'd been through.

He stayed up late that night thinking. So what is the worse that could happen? He couldn't decide if his heart break over Will made him afraid to open himself up again or cautiously eager since the worse had already happened. _I am such a romantic imbecile._ _Just when I'm getting over Will and I start obsessing over someone new. Well not this time, he promised himself._

By the time he was leaving school Wednesday he realized he was pining for Jules far too much and he was determined to not act on it. Still he was unreasonably happy when Suzuki stayed after school to try out for flag team and downright ecstatic to find Jules' house was empty, _sad but true_. His house was decorated in shades of white, sage, and tan with a modern Asian minimalistic design that said 'don't touch'. Connor was relieved when the backyard was more typical with a large expanse of lawn between a few nondescript trees.

"Yeah, my dad won't let my step mom take over the backyard." Jules remarked as if he could read his mind.

"So, you aren't into the modern vibe?" Connor asked with a smile.

"Not the way she does it, too cold. She hates my room, too colorful." Jules answered, "I'm going to change. Do you want a snack?"

After he pulled out sports drinks from the fridge and chips from the counter top, Connor settled into a seat on the kitchen bar. Jules came back, sat beside him launching into a discussion about camp Jupiter training methods. Connor only half listened because he was so preoccupied looking at Jules firm chest and long lean legs in his A-shirt and shorts.

"You must miss a lot of friends from camp. It must have been nice to have such a relax camp. Camp Jupiter is so regimented," The roman asked causing Connor to come to his senses.

"Yeah, it was nice. I could get away with just about anything. We were the camp contraband suppliers. I even put a whole cabin to sleep once." He replied automatically bragging.

"Why would you do that?" Jules asked curiously.

"Um…" Connor caught up with what he just said and lightly blushed, _oh crap, I didn't mean to say that._ He shrugged and said, "It was just a prank. Did you have many pranks at camp Jupiter?"

"Not really, the roman punishments are harsh." Then Jules went and asked 'the' question, "Did you leave anyone special behind."

Connor was shocked and looked away from the gorgeous teen beside him. _He was asking about my relationships, be brave. You are not trying to hide anything._

He looked over tentatively, ready for a retreat once he got the confession out. He answered truthfully in a flat voiced, "No, _he_ dumped me."

Jules stared straight at him looking taken aback and something less definable. His gray eyes went stormy and he emphatically replied, "He was a fool." _He can't be really be interested in me, can he?_ Connor looked at him with an open hopeful longing.

He winked as he jumped up saying, "Now greekus scum prepare to get your butt kicked." A little dazed Connor grabbed his sword and followed wondering if he really saw that wink. _No you didn't,_ he chided himself _, don't even go there._

* * *

 _Authors notes:_

 _Let me know what you think of my OC, Jules. I have finished the flashback story about Will and Connor, but this story is continuing with each chapter alternating between Connor and Will/Nico over the school year._

 _Thanks for reading,_

 _Anne_


	6. Chapter 6 - November: Tornado Warning

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 6 – November: Tornado Warning - Nico/Connor/Will

* * *

~* Present - November at Camp Half-blood *~

* * *

Nico grit his teeth as he watched Will at the Apollo table eating dinner with Valens fucking Aurelius. That damn Roman healer was stuck to Will like glue. They laughed and joked and touched. How dare he even touch _his_ Will. He morosely stabbed at his food chewed it savagely as if it had laid a hand on Will. _Fuck!_ He had been all though this with his boyfriend before, but couldn't stop the jealous rage. Will insisted that Valens was only a friend and claimed that if Nico believed him there was nothing more to discuss. He didn't doubt Will, but that didn't mean he had to like Valens' god damn familiarity. _Did he have to be so damn good looking, kind hearted, and so fucking much like Will?_ He was all the things Nico wasn't.

The blond said he was like a brother, but he wasn't and that was the rub in Nico's mind. Valens was an eighteen year old tall dark haired hazel eyed legacy of Pompona and their top healer. He came here to train under Chiron in late September and had ruined what had been a wonderful start to the school year.

Hardly anyone was left at camp and, before he came, he spend almost all of his time with Will. Then Valens took him away. Instead of a couple of hours a few times a week, Will and Valens spent half the day with Chiron and studied the rest of the day together. He, meanwhile, was left alone.

He finished his plate and stood. Meanwhile Will extricated himself from Valens and his other three remaining cabin mates and hurried over to him. Nico rolled his eyes as the healer carefully examined his plate to make sure he ate all his food. He had long since given up fighting over his eating habits with the blond and just ate as he was instructed. As a result he had put on about twelve pounds, grown a half inch and, even better, his chest was much more defined. That most likely was from his long hours a sword practice and playing with Ms. O'Leary. Even with all that Will would not admit he was fully recovered.

They fell in step and began walking toward Nico's cabin, "Come on Nico. Let's watch a movie tonight. I have Frozen."

"No more princesses, Snow White!" He complained, "I'm sick of all this Disney crap." He smirked at Will's grimace, he hated the nickname Snow White, but had given up trying to stop him using it. At least he could vent his anger a little that way. "Let's go see a _good_ movie like Victor Frankenstein. I'm dying to see it."

"No way, that is only in theaters and you are not allowed to shadow travel."

"Damn it. I'm stronger than before I went to Tartarus. I'm tired of being a prisoner here."

"I'm not taking any chances with you. This is not about physical strength and you know it."

They entered his cabin and he carefully shut the door trying to hold in his rage. He turned walked to within an inch of the healer before he growled low and deep into his face, "I am not fucking weak! Not anymore!"

Will took his hand and pause pensive in what Nico thought of as the heal-o-scope mode. "Nope, I can still feel the darkness in there and waiting for an opening."

He huffed trying to calm his anger. In a more reasonable tone he argued, "Will, that is just me. I am the darkness. It will always be there."

"As I keep telling you, I don't believe it. I have never felt anything like that, even in Hazel. It is not you!" He stubbornly crossed his arms.

"Nobody else is a son of _Hades_. I'm the only ghost king. I keep telling you I know more about this than you. I know I am strong enough now."

"You can't know that without trying it and I won't allow it until I'm sure."

Nico considered his stubbornness and wondered what was happening to them. They never use to argue, but now it felt like that was all they did. Why couldn't Will just stop being so over protective. He would to end this now and he gave the blond his iciest glare.

"You are wrong and I know because I've shadow traveled already." He spat.

"WHAT!" Will turned red as he sputtered. He gapped as he started to turn purple and seemed to grow, towering over him.

Nico cringed and backed up. Plaintively he explained, "Will, I was careful. I cleared it with Chiron and then traveled from my cabin to the big house. Afterward he checked me out thoroughly."

"But… But… Um… You didn't ask me!" He deflated seeming like a petulant child.

"No, you were spending all your time with Valens," He hissed back.

"Don't even go there _again_ ," He warned. "We have been through this too many times to count."

"Obviously we are not fucking going _anywhere_ … yet again." He cursed with the last of his anger. He flopped down on the couch and turned his gaze down. He felt only hopeless as he thought of their argument. Will said nothing and Nico wondered why he didn't just leave. Instead he sighed heavily as he sat down next to Nico.

In a slightly pleading voice he offered, "Nico, angel, let's not fight any more. I'm sorry, I was just startled and frightened. I'm glad you've regained your strength." A tentative hand was place on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at the earnest blue eyes and uncrossed his arms, "Alright, we can watch a movie. But I get to choose and no Disney." Will nodded solemnly and leaned in to kiss his forehead. The raven haired boy bit back his response. _A kiss on the forehead, where has your passion gone?_

An hour later they were tangled together stretched on the couch as they watched Fight Club. Nico had long since stopped watching and instead his tongue was working down a well-traveled path along the blond's chest. He alternated licking his nipple, soft sucking kisses, and huffing a warm breath over the damp skin. Will tried to ignore him, but was losing the battle as his body trembled. Nico smiled as he worked his way down further. The healer's eyes rolled back in his head as he gave his belly button the same treatment. He started unbuttoning his jeans carefully as he kept up the attack on his navel to distract him.

Nico had quickly inserted his hand and wrapped it around his hard length. "Whoa" Will gasped as but the dark haired boy ignored him and inched his lips closer to his goal. The blond sat up abruptly and pushed him away.

"What the fuck Will?" He angrily barked.

"Hey didn't I say I was not going there."

"It has been three months now. I know you don't want go all the way, but we haven't even been to third base. Come on, I haven't even seen you naked yet." Then before he could stop himself he said, "You'd think you were the virgin here."

Will gasped and then spluttered, "I just… I just don't want… to get in to deep."

Nico sighed and sat up. For as insecure as he felt about Valens, Will seemed more as insecure. It just made everything so difficult.

"Will I'm here and I even follow all your stupid rules. I'm not going anywhere. When will you believe me?"

He looked deep into his cerulean eyes at the mixed incredulity and disbelieve. His words never quite seemed to penetrate that particular look. "Will, how can I make you see what you mean to me? What do you want from me?"

Will sat stone still looking down. He made a few incoherent squeaks, but had no response to his words. Nico tried to gently raise his chin, but he fiercely kept it down.

 _He couldn't even look him in the eye._ Something in him just snapped and he yelled, "Will Solace, why won't you believe I love you? But…I just can't look at you right now. Get the fuck out of here."

He finally looked at him, but all Nico hid his hurt behind anger. Will blanched and quickly left, not even saying a word. _Gods what was wrong with them_ , Nico pondered.

That night he stayed awake for a long time going over their past month and a half together. He just didn't get it. They had started out so wonderfully united. They had been so close. Then when Valens came and he was health again things just started to fall apart. It couldn't be said he didn't try. He had kept his tongue about Valens and had even stopped arguing with all of Will's overprotective rules. He had let so many things go, but still all they did was argue.

Yet he still loved him, so very deeply it frightened him. He felt the tears gathering on his pillow. He didn't want things to end. Then the follow on thought came crashed in. Will didn't believe he loved him, because Will didn't really love him. He obsessed over him. Will loved the hero he thought he was, not the real Nico. It seemed the blond now knew on some level that he really didn't love him anymore. Still the obsessive son of Apollo wouldn't let go. Well he was nobody's possession.

He grabbed his sword belt and his bomber jacket and left the cabin. He stopped at the big house to leave a sealed note for Chiron. Then knowing he couldn't leave Will hanging, he wrote out another note. He hoped the note didn't sound too vindictive. By the time he finished it he just felt a deep sadness. He hesitated as he left the note on the infirmary counter and said a slow silent farewell to the room. Then he turned to quickly exit as if it would make things easier. As soon as he reached the dark porch he shadow traveled away.

* * *

~* Meanwhile in Connor's New Home Town of Titan*~

* * *

He had been in Titan for over two months already, yet he and Julian were just friends, best friends, but nothing more. He was still incredibly smitten with him, but he just didn't dare give that thought any credence. It wasn't that Jules seemed unwilling, on the contrary he had actually given him a few strong hints. Still Connor was extremely guarded with his heart and had put up an invisible wall that kept Jules at arm's length. He justified by telling himself, _Jules seems interested now, but how long could that last?_ _He is so easy to be around and so handsome, some else is sure to take him away and I will be alone again._

Today during lunch Warren's girlfriend was talking about preparations for the homecoming dance and chances of being a homecoming queen. Warren just agreed and rolled his eyes at him and Jules. When she left with her best friend, it was just Warren, Connor and Julian. Warren glanced meaningfully at Julian before asking Connor, "You are planning to go to the dance, right. I'd hate to be there without you to pull a few pranks. So, who are you asking?"

"No need. Nobody is interested in me." The brunette answered automatically looking down. Julian thumped his arms down on the table loudly before stalking out the lunch room without a word. His chin simply dropped, stunned.

Warren gave him a stern look, "What is your problem? Why won't you just…" Connor was lost trying to understand both of their behaviors. Obviously he looked it, because Warren just shook his head before leaving with a sigh.

He sat there alone and his pulse began to race as he realized he had offended Jules somehow. In the next two classes that they shared, Connor watched helplessly as, after giving him a dark glare, Jules ignored him. He had never made a pass and had been keeping his distance so how had he made him angry. _He didn't mean that much to him, did he? He couldn't have wanted him to ask him to the dance, could he?_ He didn't care about the Homecoming dance, but he knew Jules did.

He spent that evening running through all their recent conversations. Jules was all but throwing himself at him and he had completely missed it in his effort to remain unattached. His heart ached and he wondered at that. He had been so careful, so how could this have even started? Still it felt just like a real heart ache. Just like Will. He was beginning to realize just how big his mistake had been. _How could I have been so stupid?_ In the morning he hardened his resolve to do what was needed.

When he saw Julian in the band room, he headed straight for him. Just before he got there a wild looking percussionist with long frizzy hair wrapped an arm around him. He stopped dead. Jules looked at the slightly shorter man and smiled slowly the way Connor loved. He pressed himself against the other boy and leaned forward to kiss hm. _Well Fuck!_ He found someone else already? He turned, dazed and stumbling off to class.

The next few days were a new and fresh torture as everyone talked about the gay couple. The halls practically range with a chorus of 'Julian and Bobby were back together, again and speculation about how long it would last this time.' This opened a large bleeding wound in Connor's chest. He walked around hunched with arms cross over his ribs trying with to hold himself together.

Warren noticed and tried to console him as they walked through the lunch line, "Don't be so down. He just wanted to go to the dance. You should have asked him."

"As if I ever really had a chance," He mumbled, huddled over his tray.

"Just talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"No, I'm used to being odd man out. I'll get over it."

"Look, I know them. They'll just break up after the dance anyway. Bobby is just too… um crude for Jules and always has been." He reasoned.

"Yeah, well so am I. Nice try, anyway." He lamented and stalked off to have lunch alone in the courtyard. Bobby had taken his place at their lunch table. He didn't notice Julian's gaze following him sadly as he left the room.

* * *

Connor hopped the gate to sit with Travis at the sidewalk cafe seating area and the crowds surged around them. They were at the town square where the high school Homecoming parade ended. Travis watched amused as he sipped his Margarita. He loved the warm southern November and the low drinking age in Titan.

"How was the parade? Did Jules look cute in his band uniform?" Travis smirked.

Connor punched his brother's arm, "Shut up Travis! It's not like that and you know it." He was sorry he'd been just a little too vocal about his appreciation of Jules and Travis had picked up on it. It didn't help that he hadn't mentioned his falling out with him. He was angry as much at himself as his brother. It was his own fault that Jules wasn't even his friend anymore.

Travis seemed to deflate, "Please, snap out of it Connor. I promise I won't tease anymore alright." And his eyes crinkled in concern as he watched him closely.

"Good," He mumbled and looked around trying to pretend teasing was what he was mad about. He started searching the crowd as he saw band hats appearing. Not that he expected Jules to even acknowledge him any longer.

The usual greetings and swaggering in the crowd was drowned out by a monstrous roar in the distance. Both demigods stood immediately hands on their swords and Travis grabbed his backpack. They jumped the decorative cafe fence and pushed through the crowd racing towards the noise.

Soon they saw three Laistrygonian giants battling with two smaller figures as the rest of the high school seemed to be running the other way shouting out random emergencies ranging from out of control truck to lightning strike. It had been absolutely monster free since Gaea fell, but Travis refused to let down his guard.

"No! No! Not here, Not now!" Shouted Connor as he ran.

"Don't worry, I have everything we need in my pack." Travis assured him as he put it on backwards and reached his left hand into a pocket, "Get Jules and Warren away I have celestial bronze and Greek fire hand-grenades."

Connor put on a burst of speed as he saw Jules fighting two at once his auburn hair flying. It still wasn't fast enough. Jules fell just as Connor reached his attacker, cutting him down in one stroke. "Run Warren, Travis has grenades, I've got Jules." He called and sliced the other Laistrygonian's arm off at the shoulder. He picked up the bleeding heap that was Jules. He only vaguely heard Travis taunting the giants as Warren circled around to join him. There was no getting a descendant of Mars out of battle.

He laid Jules down at a safe distance and reached for the emergency ambrosia packets Travis made him carry everywhere. Jules was completely limp and bleeding from claw marks running down his chest. He put two squares in his mouth and hoped they would melt. Then he tried to think of what Will would do. Well he couldn't just put a hand on him and check for damage like the healer could. He felt for a pulse that was steady, but not strong. He stripped off his shirt and tore it so he could wrap it around his bleeding chest. Then he wrapped him snuggly in what was left of his band jacket. After that he held him tight remembering lessons about shock and to keep him warm. He waited and hoped that the ambrosia would work. He didn't notice his own tears streaming down as he held him tight.

After an infinite time Warren appeared covered in monster dust and place a canteen to Jules lips. He mouthed, "Nectar," as he laced his arm around Jules to support him as Connor sagged.

"Where is Travis?" He asked.

"He is leading the police on a wild goose chase after the hoods that disturbed the Homecoming Parade. That brother of yours is quite inventive. The Ogres are dust and nobody else was hurt." Jules was still deathly pale, but the make shift bandages and ambrosia had helped curb the bleeding, "Come on Travis said to take him to your place. I'll drive."

When they arrived Warren helped him take Jules inside and laid him out on his bed. He stayed until Julian had stopped bleeding. He left to report to Julian's parents and contact his own.

About an hour later his brother showed up. Connor had Jules bare chested while he cleaned his now clotted claw wounds with diluted nectar. So far he had not woken up, but his heart rate was strong.

"How is he?" Only when he spoke did Connor look up and notice him.

Then he let out a relieved sigh before starting to answer, "His heart beat is stronger, but…"

"I'm fucking pissed that damn Ogre got me." Jules hissed. He winced as he shifted his head looking up at them both.

"Good, Roman hard ass as usual." Travis smiled.

Connor just gaped and then frowned, "How long have you been awake?"

"Um… It just felt good having you take care of me." He said as his green-gray eyes sparkled at him. Connor bristled in anger, but said nothing.

Travis walked away only to return from the bathroom with a couple of pills, "Here these pain killers will take the edge off. Stay here tonight and you should be fine to go home tomorrow." Jules slowly moved onto his elbow, so he could take the proffered paper cup and pills, before slowly sinking back down with a long sigh.

Connor had noticed Travis' limp and his tired face, "You alright?"

"It is just a bit of an ankle twist. I'll be fine by morning." He said dismissively as he popped an ambrosia square in his mouth and went to his room.

As soon as the door closed Connor started angrily, "Jules, why did you tell me you were awake? I've been anxiously waiting."

"Think of it as payback my dear Connor." His clearly bitter tone shocked him.

"What in the world did I ever do to you?" He groused.

"It is what you haven't done." He said flatly. Connor blinked doubting what he meant. He went on, "I see how you cringe then we are together. What is it about me that is so annoying?" He asked in a hurt tone.

"How can you say that? Next to my brother you are the best friend I've ever had."

"Really, better than Will?"

He slumped and felt himself shatter at the thought. Not of Will, but of Jules doubting his fondness of him. The auburn haired teen watched him intently and he felt his resolve finally crack.

"Alright," He spit out, "I was afraid… afraid of how…" His voice softened as he sucked in a breath, "How strongly I felt about… about you." He dropped his head down and felt the tears falling from his eyes. All his careful control didn't matter. He was on the losing side of love again. "And now… now I have to watch you with... with him. Isn't that torture enough for my stupidity?"

Jules lifted his hand to clutch Connor's forearm and pulled him forward. He looked up having nothing left to hide anymore. In a soft voice the Asian said, "Lay down next to me. I can't hold my head up much longer."

He felt lost, but he laid himself down on his side facing the man. He struggled not to turn away in his embarrassment, but he lowered his eyes. Jules raised his hand to place it on his sternum and he stroked the skin lightly. Connor had never replaced his shirt.

"Please look at me," his gazed was solemn. "Bobby is nothing, I just couldn't stand…" He sighed and took a deep breath, "I just wanted to go to the dance. Really, I think you are brilliant and Bobby was just doing me a favor. I wanted to make you jealous. Instead I just drove you away. It was pointless and cruel."

Connor couldn't speak, but he blushed as his heart inflated. _Did I really just hear that?_ Jules put his hand on his cheek to pull him closer and Connor automatically followed, "If you let me in, I promise I won't hurt you again. Not like he did," He pushed his lips softly against Connors' and the blue eyed boy's heart fizzled.

His rough hands reached up to gently hold that delicate face and paused the kiss. "Me? Really?" He asked in a small disbelieving voice. The gray green eyes were utterly genuine as he nodded. At that he gave him a more passionate kiss.

Connor slowly broke off, "Not now, when you're better," he grinned. Then he did what he had wanted to since the day they met. He ran his hands through his long silky hair fanning it out around his head.

"I have something to ask you." He hummed into his ear before nibbling it slightly and eliciting a soft groan, "Will you go to Homecoming with me?"

"Only if you'll be my boyfriend." Jules said gently with his most glowing smile.

"Fuck yeah, I'm the lucky on to be with a beauty like you." Julian's face crinkled into his beautiful dancing eyed smile and they briefly kissed again. Connor stroked his cheek, "Sleep, I'll be here." Julian's eyes blinked slowly a few times as he continued to stroke his hair. He finally let his eyes close and drifted off to sleep. Connor continued to stroke his hair for a while before lightly bandaging his chest. He rose and quickly prepared for bed before returning to his place, next to Jules. He cuddled up carefully so as not to touch his wounds. He was soon asleep with a hand still tangled in Julian's hair.

* * *

~ November - Camp Half-blood ~

* * *

Will lay in bed thinking of how he'd just been kicked out of the Hades cabin. He realized as much as he seemed dissatisfied with him, this was the first time Nico had ever pushed him away. Strangely it felt like he was always pushing the dark haired boy away. Well it wouldn't be the last time he said to himself as he replayed the evening's events over and over.

 _Nico had said he loved me._

But really how could he with all his complaints? That seemed to be all he did now. Besides he was obviously furious at the time. That meant it didn't count, right? Of course, he obviously didn't trust him with Valens. What was love without trust? It just didn't seem possible that Nico could feel that deeply for him. Sure he was a little nit-picky about his health, but he was a healer. It was his job.

 _Had he really shadow traveled?_

That darkness within him was still there and it just wasn't possible that it belonged with him. It was so heavy and angry. How could he survive all he had been through with that at his core? Still it was not dissipating steadily like the rest of the darkness had since he'd been under treatment. He denied the niggling doubt that his diagnosis was flawed.

 _He said, "What do you want from me?"_

How could he explain that it was his heart he was trying to protect by not getting physical? He clearly saw how much their relationship mirrored his with Connor only now he was the one in love and Nico… He would move on once he found something better. He was a weak pretty boy that could never live up to the hero Nico was.

He fell in and out of a fitful sleep but awoke with the sun as usual. He felt anything but rested, yet he got up immediately. He sensed a change and needed to check the infirmary. Surely Chiron would have got him up if someone was hurt. When he arrived he found it quiet with Chiron in his wheel chair watching the door as he opened it.

"Will, when you are ready come and speak to me," He said without preamble and rolled away.

He watched him leave wondering what was up, then he saw the note addressed to him. It was written in a familiar old fashioned cursive hand. He choked on a sob as he realized what this meant. Nico was gone… Never to come back… and he no longer wanted him. He crumbled to the floor weeping with his head in his hands.

It took a while for him to get a hold of himself enough to actually read the letter. He put his back against the counter and dried his eyes before opening the letter with shaky hands.

 _Will,_

 _I'm leave like this, because I can stand it anymore. This just isn't working. As much as I want you, I couldn't take the constant bickering. Know that this is not because of Valens' friendship or no sex or the bossiness. It is just that I am not who you think I am. You seem to have a false idea of me fixed in your mind that I just can't live up to. I'm sorry the real me has been so disappointing. I'll miss you deeply. I know you will worry because I'm not there, but I'm a coward and seeing you every day would just be too painful. I'll take care of myself and stay safe like you wanted me too. Maybe now you can find some else that is the right fit. I just want the best for you and will always remember our time together fondly._

 _Love always,_

 _Nico de Angelo_

New tears streamed down his face as he read. He could barely decipher the last few lines with clouded eyes. This is so much worse than the angry letter he had expected. He could see how much Nico cared in every line. It was ironic that he thought he had failed him. He saw how his nitpicking had been at fault because Nico thought he didn't like him anymore. He had fail in love with the one who mattered most. Now it was all too late.

He didn't know how long he'd been there when Valens came in. He quickly sat on the floor to hug him. "Will, what happened?"

Will clutched at him crying into his shoulder, "He… Left… Me," were the only coherent words he could get out. Valens just held him as he cried. He seemed just like Lee in his early days when he was getting over his mother's death. Why couldn't he have shared that with Nico? If he had just explained their closeness instead of challenging him about trust… That thought just sent him into another fit of crying.

When he finally settled down enough Valens pulled him up to his feet. He took him to a private room, gave him a sedative, and tucked him in.

* * *

He woke much later when the sun was low in the sky. Somehow he thought he was back during Nico's time in the infirmary. It crushed him as he remembered what had really happened. He looked around and saw the crumpled letter on the nightstand. He sighed, but managed to hold off the sob. He stood slowly and shoved the letter into his pocket. It was too dear to throw away, but too painful to re-read, let alone look at. He squared his shoulders and walked outside. His stomach growled loudly, so he headed for the dining area.

Valens soon caught up with him and gave him a one armed hug. "It's alright, I told everyone he was gone and nobody will bother you about him."

"Thanks," he said flatly with a bitter grimace.

"Listen you'll be alright in time. I know, I've been through it before."

"…" He had no response. He knew Valens had lost his fiancé in the battle of Gaea. Death was nothing like this. He knew she loved him, but she was taken away by the fates. It was part of the reason he showed him so much friendly affection. He knew touching would help him reconnect with other in time. He felt a stab of guilt as he realized he should have shared that bit of knowledge with Nico, too. He paled to think of what a shit boyfriend he'd been. Maybe there was more truth to Nico's complaints than he had first thought?

After dinner announcements were painful. Chiron stated that Nico had left camp and the Hades cabin was closed for the season. All eyes turned to him, but he looked resolutely down at his lap. Valens put a protective arm around him. Once the circumspection was over, he whispered to Valens and excused himself.

Soon he sat on the couch in the big house waiting for Chiron. He smiled sadly and rolled up in front of him.

"I take it you are here to talk about Nico."

He nodded not knowing where to start, but confident that Chiron would have some words of comfort.

"He told me where he was going and know that he is safe. Still he asked me not to share that information. You'll need to trust me on this one."

"Why didn't you tell me about his shadow travel practice?" He asked flatly.

"That was between you two. I'm old enough to know where I should not intruded."

"Then why am I here?" He quipped back with angry glare.

"Will, I know how hard this is for you and I hate to add to your burdens, but… Well it is time we talked about your fatal flaw."

"My fatal flaw?" he squeaked out, stunned.

"Yes, everyone has one and there comes a time when it is tested. Only by letting it go of it can you move on. Tell me did Nico's letter sound like he held a grudge?"

He slowly shook his head, "It was nothing like that. It was kind and sad. I failed him." He looked down as his anger evaporated.

He smiled back sadly, "You see Nico has already faced his flaw. I see him struggle with it at times but he has succeeded admirably, as your letter attests. Now tell me about your fatal flaw?"

Will was uncertain, "I… um… Have had to face life and death choices?" He hoped that was the right answer as he watched Chiron's kind eyes for a reaction.

"As difficult as those time were, they did not test your fatal flaw. Do you have any idea of what your flaw is?"

He shook his head again confused.

"You, Will, have been given Apollo's greatest gift, the gift of healing. With it comes a stronger measure of his greatest flaw. I cannot just tell you. It is best if you discover it. Apollo, as well as being a powerful god, is boastful and proud. You are not, being humble and kind in most things. Except in one small way you are alike. Think of what that one personality trait might be. What has cost you the most friends? What about you alienates others?"

He was offended to be told he was like that loud mouth, conceded, fickle father of his. He had the least of Apollo's gifts. All most people saw was the buff sun god with stunning archery skills and bad haikus, which would sleep with anything on legs. It was his children, more than himself that showed his healing skill.

He thought of his fathers' myths and finally settled on the crows that Apollo had turned from white to black instead of believing that his lover Coronis had been unfaithful. He suddenly saw it. He was unwilling to listen when he was sure of his diagnosis. While usually this drove him to make sure all received the right treatment, he had had patients tell him off and leave in anger near the end of treatment. "I push my treatments on patients unwillingly." Namely he had pushed his treatment onto an unwilling Nico beyond all reason. He especially felt it now that he saw it was based on the assumption he still had darkness in him. He hadn't listened. If he had maybe he could have found a solution to it.

"Yes and there is more. You get you mind set on a diagnoses or, shall we say, interpretation and you will not consider any other options."

Chiron seemed to be trying to tell him something else also, but he couldn't see it. He looked at him helplessly and wondered if he would ever understand.

Chiron sighed, "Will, what area are you least confident in?"

"Fighting," Again he was mystified why his lack of fighting skill was part of this.

"No! You usually say you are a _worthless_ healer. You lack confidence in your own inherent worth. Think on how that applies to what we have discussed."

He sat pensive for a while trying to make all this fit. He looked at Chiron silently pleading, but he had that aloof look that signaled he had to work it out on his own. It was clear his fatal flaw had driven Nico away and it was more than just his pushing treatment on him. He knew he made mistakes on the subject of Valens. Where else had he failed Nico? He though uncomfortably of how and why he was thrown out of Nico's cabin last night and his stomach filled with cold lead. Had he appeared to discredited signs of affection from him? Could that be why Nico thought he was disappointed in him?

 _How much of his true feelings had he hid and how much of Nico's had I discounted?_


	7. Chapter 7 - Nov: Dark Cold Snap Part 1

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 7 – November: Dark Cold Snap, Part 1– Nico

* * *

A/N: This chapter includes Hades as my friend suggested in a review, thank you Karen.

* * *

~* Present – Late November in the Underworld *~

Nico was bored at his father's castle as he took refuge in his room. Still it was better than hanging out with his so called family. He couldn't stand the glares and even worse the thinly veiled barbs aimed at his mother. The only good thing about the underworld was that he could use a computer anytime he wanted. Last week, when he arrived, he told his father, truthfully, that he was about two years behind in math and physics. Now he hardly left his room or ever stopped studying. His father had originally given him Madam Curie as a tutor, but he asked for some from this century, well his century at least. So they compromised on Weiner Von Braun. After a week he was about half way through the first year. Still he could only handle so much studying and now he was completely burned out. He couldn't focus on any specific thoughts.

He sighed heavily looking around at the green glowing expansive room. It was a dreary hodgepodge of furniture from different eras separated into different living areas. He had only made minimal changes including clearing a space for sparing practice, replaced the bunks with a king size bed, and adding modern electronics.

He stared up at the black sky through the open castle roof and felt around for the dark spot inside himself. Will said it didn't belong, but he knew it was the real him. He was a dark abyss just like the underworld sky. No wonder Will didn't want him. At that his chest tightened and his breath became shallow. If he was honest with himself he was depressed and lonely. He really wished he could go to New Rome to see Hazel and Reyna but, he couldn't risk Will coming to finding him. That particular trial would be too much right now. He sat up and reached for his laptop, suddenly studying didn't seem so bad.

Some hours later Ms. O'Leary was suddenly there. She had one paw on the bed and it creaked ominously. "Girl get off." He pushed at her, but she didn't seem to feel it. "What are you doing here?" He pet her by the hitting her flank as hard and he could. She wagged her tail knocking things down from the bookshelf nearby. She never came to visit him out of the blue like this. He guided her to the empty sparing area before she broke anything else. She rolled over on her side and went to sleep. He inspected her collar and found something attached to it.

It was a letter in ancient Greek addressed to him, a letter from Will. His chest constricted again and this time he started hyperventilating. _When had he become so volatile?_ He stared at the envelope as if it might explode. He didn't feel much inclination to read it, so he placed on his nightstand. He anticipated that it was confirmation that his boyfriend didn't care for him anymore. His head rung with things Will had said to him: ' _I can still feel the darkness there, waiting to come out', 'Don't you trust me about Valens',_ and worst of all his statement the night he left ' _I just don't want to get in to deep.'_ He blinked rapidly trying forestall tears yet again. He had already cried far too much over Will. At least here nobody would know.

Just as he finished that thought a knock came at this door. He wiped his eyes quickly and called for whoever to come in. He glance at the time and assumed it was dinner delivery. He was right, but it was carried in by his father.

"What are you doing here?" he asked indigent.

"Is it a crime to want to have dinner with you?" At that Nico notice that he had two covered plates and groaned. Hades set the tray down on the low table by the couch.

"Since when do you have a hell hound as a pet?" Hades said with a nod and Mrs. O'Leary. He was dressed as a regular moral to day. Thank goodness, his souls robe gave him the creeps.

"She's Percy's but I take care of her sometimes." He answered cautiously wondering what his father was after.

"Come sit down and eat with me. I want to hear about your studies. How is the German scientist working out?"

He relaxed slightly as he took a chair across from him, knowing he could spin this topic out a while. "Yeah, he is good and I've learned a lot. The only problem is he doesn't know how to use a computer." They talked on this neutral subject through most of the meal. Yet as they neared the end of the meal he became edgy knowing his father wouldn't let him go that easily. He always had an agenda.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on? Why did he send her?" Hades asked pointing at Mrs. O'Leary. He may have looked relax as he lounged back with his arm over the back of the couch but his eyes gave away his interest. Something Nico never wanted to have directed at him.

He mockingly answered, "I just missed seeing you."

"No, you didn't," He countered.

He shrugged, "OK, I thought I could get better tutoring here."

He ignored that answer and went on, "Was it Jackson again? I thought that was settled a long time ago."

Nico felt himself stiffen. _Maybe his father suspected he had a crush on Percy._ It unnerved him enough that he answered truthfully. "No it wasn't, but it is now," he asserted as he glared at him.

His father seemed to realize his agitation, "Nico, I'm not trying to trap you in anything. Some children talk to their parents, maybe…"

Then he felt himself just collapse into the angry child he had been at ten as he shouted, "I don't need you and never have. I never wanted this life. Why did you have to be my father?"

He cocked an eyebrow, but only sounded regretful as he said. "If I wasn't your father you probably would have died at the hands of Mussolini's black shirts."

He glowered, "Don't pretend you know anything about me."

Hades leaned forward and almost put a hand on his shoulder. He opted for the table instead, "Nico, it isn't a big deal."

"What!?" He shouted.

"Wanting a man to share your bed." He answered simply and unashamed.

He felt his heartbeat thundering in his ears, but he could only stare. Something in him had changed since he left camp. I had felt so right to be with Will after the turmoil of coming out. Then the moment they broke-up all his self-loathing and shame just flooded back. Still he had never ever intended to tell his father.

"I can be very good as a matter of fact." And to Nico's horror he gave him a smirking smile and wink that said he knew what he was talking about.

"Ugh, don't say that type of thing." He answered automatically disgusted as his mind reeled thinking of his father having sex.

"Why not, it is natural." He calmly replied.

He jumped up and yelled shaking like a leaf, "No, it's sick and I'm a pervert. So it is just as well I'm away from all the normal people."

Slowly his father stood as he seethed head down too ashamed to even move. _He had admitted it, something he vowed never to do._ Far too sedately he explained, "Nico, I'm Greek and that means _all_ men regularly had sex with other men. At that time it was alright as long as you are the one… um what is the current term? Topping, it didn't matter male or female. So, you see, things are not so cut and dry. Don't let your era define you. Don't be ashamed to be yourself."

 _His father being understanding and supportive?_ Suddenly he felt empty, defeated, and cold, "Yeah, well…." He gulped looking away as he sat back down. His father sat following his lead. What was worse as he knew that his father had a good point, but he still didn't feel like he was allowed to be gay and his father was one of the last people he wanted to talk to about it. Yet, maybe it was time to man up.

He grit his teeth and looked Hades in the face. He croaked out, "I broke-up with my boyfriend."

"Please tell me it wasn't Jackson?"

"No, his name was Will Solace."

"Hum, I don't know him. Who is his godly parent?"

"Apollo, so be glad we broke up."

"You dated one of those conceited braggarts?"

"He isn't like that. After all how much am I like you."

"Touché. What did he do to lose you?"

"Uh, yeah, I don't want to talk about it."

"He's an idiot for breaking up with you."

He frowned, "You should know being a 'Son of Hades' does nothing to win me friends. My aura is a bit dark you see."

"Really? And I thought Gothic romances were in style now."

He chuckled without mirth, "Turns out the real thing is not so good."

"So, I actually do have a lot of experience with love. What to give me a try?"

He rolled his eyes, "Not particularly." But he realized his heart didn't feel quite so heavy anymore.

Hades glanced around the room, "Even with a hell hound in it, this room is too big and rather old fashioned. I never came in here when I had many children staying. It was my way of getting them out from under foot. Little did I realize I would miss them one day." He looked squarely at him with warmth, "Regardless of the reason I'm glad you came. I wouldn't object if you wanted to modernize it."

"Sure, shall I get my decor from the Temple of Bone?"

His father looked at him sharply with the corners of his mouth twitching. He shrugged, "If you like, but that is hardly modern." He paused, "You're welcome to can stay as long as you want, but I'd rather you were in the land of the living. You can always go to New Rome."

His eyes instinctively glanced over towards the letter laying on his nightstand, "No, not yet." He returned to look his father in the eye, "Still if you want me out, I'll leave." He shuttered to think he may be wrong about his acceptance.

"No I didn't mean it that way." Nico let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Son, it is just that hiding out is not really living. You could go see Hazel, be with friends." Nico glared at him in the usual way to indicate he wasn't helping. "And now I've out stayed my welcome."

He picked up the tray and walked to the door. Turning he said, "Still I plan to come around every so often, so be warned," and was gone.

He huffed going back to laying on his bed and gaze at the open ceiling again. He couldn't believe he had just come out to his father. Hades the God of the Underworld knew he was gay. Still he didn't so much come out as he was shoved out. At least he wasn't kicking and screaming, well not very much. Still it was shocking how accepting his father had been. For as seeped in Greek culture he was, it had never occurred to him that is father was in fact Greek and had certainly dabbled in… Ugh. He couldn't bring himself to even think about that.

The part that really got to him was that his father seemed to actually care. He found himself glancing over at the letter again. Maybe if he could just accept it was over with Will, he would be able to move on. His chest ached and stomach clenched just thinking about seeing in writing that Will was done with him.

All he wanted to do was forget everything. He rolled over and tried to fall asleep. He felt heavy and slow, but after another indeterminately long time tossing and turning he was still awake and agonizing over his feelings for Will, well rather what Will feelings were for him. He looked over at the old fashioned alarm clock he had been avoiding and its face glowed 2:15am casting a shadow over the letter. He tried not to think about it as he quickly flicked on the lamp and opened the letter.

 _My Dark Angel,_

 _Please forgive for my use of that nickname, but whenever I think of you I come back to that name and our early days together. That is probably the wrong thing to say considering you think I don't know the real you. I understand why you think that, but I don't even know how to start to contradict you._

 _This past week has been such an emotional roller coaster for me that I hardly know anything for sure anymore. I've done so many things wrong and I have so many regrets. Still through it all I know I love you. You may wonder at that since you say I have a false impression of you. I've come to realize that my behavior has been erratic and contrary to my feelings._

 _All I can do is tell you how sorry I am to put you through that torment and that I'm at fault. I can't even promise it won't happen again, since I can't promise I've changed. You see according to Chiron it is all wound up with my fatal flaw and until I can overcome that… well I'm getting ahead of myself. I don't even know if you even want to hear from me._

 _Still I took the liberty of writing you and giving this to Mrs. O'Leary because I want to clear the air. I know you don't want to see me. As painful as that is, I'll respect your wishes. I will stay away even if you returned to camp or should I hear you are in New Rome. Further, I won't look for you no matter what I hear. I would not deny you the comfort of your sister or friends at a time like this for fear of seeing me._

 _I only hope you'll give me the chance to correct the error of my ways. I feel so ashamed of how I've treated you. As much as I would like to hear from you, I don't expect you to write back. I would like to write to you again, but I'll understand if you'd rather not receive my letters. If you return this with Mrs. O'Leary, I'll know not to bother you again. If I get nothing when she returns, I'll know I can write to you. Please let me reach out to you by writing, it would comfort me greatly._

 _All My Love,_

 _Will 3_

He devoured the letter with barely contained eagerness. Could Will really still care for him? Yet he didn't quite let himself believe his words. After all he made no promises. It just didn't seem like he could have felt so different from how he behaved. Maybe he just didn't want to let go. That seemed a lot more likely, still he couldn't write off the letter completely. He was curious to see what he would say in his defense in later letters. After a while he was finally able to drop off to sleep.

In the morning he woke to a hell hound licking the length of his body through the covers. Ugh! He jump up and hurried to get her breakfast. He halfheartedly thought of sending a reply, but he had no words to convey his mixed emotions. Instead he sent her home without a letter of any kind; the signal that Will could write again. He spent the rest of the day studying and trying not to wonder what might be in Will's next letter.

* * *

A/N: This chapter will be in parts but I'm not sure if it will be two or three parts. I'll have the next up in about a week. Thanks for reading, Anne


	8. Chapter 8 - Nov: Dark Cold Snap Part 2

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 7 – November: Dark Cold Snap, Part 2 – Will

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A/N: Sorry it took so very long to get this chapter up. It was so introspective it took a long time to get it right.

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~* Present – Mid-November at Camp Half Blood *~

Valens burst into the infirmary, "She's back. Mrs. O'Leary. Come on Will." And he beckoned him forward.

He came forward automatically while his heart skittered nervously. Will was shocked to hear Mrs. O'Leary was back after just one day. This surely meant Nico had forgiven him. Suddenly his pulse was thundering in his ears. _What if he had actually come back after Will's declaration that he still loved him?_ He tried to stamp down that thought. A letter is enough. That he wrote he was sure, after all he had apologized. He ignored the unbidden thought that in the next line he gave no guarantees. He squirmed, recalling at Valens urging, he had not even reviewed the letter before sending it. He claimed the more he looked at the less likely he would be to send it.

They ran toward the arena as they heard an ear shattering bark. _She never barked, maybe, just maybe._ He sped around the corner and called out, "Nico?" He stopped suddenly, searching before deflating like a popped balloon. He wasn't here and it hit him with a ferocity he hadn't expected. Still he had a letter, but he hung back, fear overtaking his certainty.

Valens turned and looked at him. He tusked as he pulled him forward toward by the hand, "Come on Will." He allowed himself to be lead but when they faced her he just stood dejected. Valens glanced over at him but didn't push him. Instead he climbed up on to her back and checked her collar.

Soon he came back to stand in front of a still downcast Will. He put his arm around him, "No letter." He felt that little hopeful bubble in him pop at the news. Valens frowned as the blond slumped yet lower, "Will, this is a good thing. He wants you to write, the door is open."

He started to openly shake and curled into him, "She probably just lost it." What if he was in danger? Chiron had said he was safe, but the son of Hades was impulsive and unpredictable.

"No she didn't. I'm sure she saw him. She's a hell and can go anywhere." He assured him.

Will gasp out a sob as it sunk in. He had thought he had been low when writing the letter, but now it was so much worse. _Oh Gods, he hadn't thought enough of him to spare a few words._ Valens held him close as he navigated back to his cabin.

Will hardly noticed since he was busy reprimand himself. No response from Nico was not unusual, he was stupid to allow him that option. Even if Nico wanted to hear from him, he did seem to consider him worth of a reply. All his mistakes swirled around him in a kaleidoscope of guilt, fear, and loss. He let out another loud sob into Valens shoulder as he patted his back. He couldn't quite keep his emotions in check anymore. He was thankful the Roman didn't try to talk to him or reassure him. Any words would have sounded hollow right now. He simple held him against his increasing wet shoulder. It took a long time before he could stop even with the sedative Valens gave him, but finally he slept.

He woke in the late afternoon with his eyes itching and a leaden dread settled over him. Before he had been overly emotional now he felt next to nothing. In his aching hollow numbness he distractedly wondered why he had gone catatonic. It wasn't that bad, nobody had died. He mused that it was odd that he hadn't broken down this badly during the wars. As painful as it was he had managed to keep some distance or he never would have been able to help those who could be saved. This was different, everything with Nico was soul deep and he had nothing but time to dwell on it. _How could he have so carelessly pushed him away? How could he have been so controlling and defensive when it lead to this agonizing heartache?_ But he had and he would never see the end of his devastation this time. His home in Nico's heart was as shattered as he felt.

He realized this echoed his early days at camp after losing his mother. He lost a mother's love to face life all alone. His father had claimed him immediately, but that had felt and empty consolation. Lee took care of him while all he felt was a hazy empty unreality and aching guilt over his mother's death. It was his fault. He had not made the right diagnoses. The guilt, shame, and loss undid him as a nine year old boy. If it wasn't for Lee...well he didn't think he would have ever recovered.

Lee watched out for him and took him everywhere he went. He made sure he ate and functioned at the most basic level, not allowing him to succumb to despair. He slept with him and held him when the tears and nightmares came. Lee had taken his overly emotional state in stride and never made him feel embarrassed about crying. He simply said we all have this in us. Slowly patiently he began to drawing him out. Lee listen to his stories of her, gave him a place to belong, and in time he recovered with his heart scared but still whole. Now his heart felt like an open abyss that nothing could cure and he wondered if he could ever recover from losing Nico.

Will's days fell into a pattern. He would function and respond as required throughout the grey dreary day. At night he would try to sleep, but usually after an hour of aching despair and spinning remorse his exhausted body would simply shut down. Inevitable he would end up in a nightmare. Sometimes it was his mother's last days but mostly it was Nico. Nico started by shouting at him in fury, then he became disappointed and resigned as he turned to shadow traveled away forever. That was the part that turned him inside out. He would begin weeping and begging.

He woke to Valens holding him tight saying "Sh, shush, it's alright." After he calmed downed neither could sleep. Instead the Roman would commiserate with him about how distraught he was after Lauren died and stories of their blissful time together. They fed off each other become more morose each passing night. After that he had a short fitful nap before dawn and the day repeated. He increasingly exhausted and his hopelessness escalated each passing night. He no longer even considered that he had a chance to get Nico back. They were bring each other down but still it was too easy and comforting.

It was almost Thanksgiving when he'd had enough. He was clutching Valens, weeping uncontrollably when a small lucid part of him said, _what would Nico say if he saw this? You're pathetic and weak._ This thought shocked him. They were wallowing in self-pity and it was only getting worse. Lee had brought him back, Valens only brought him down.

In a strange way he wanted to show Nico he could live without him, all alone. Chiron had said he was the only one who could overcome his fatal flaw. He would have to get a hold of himself and stop relying on Valens. He pushed him away and stood up. "I'm fine now. I just need a drink of water before I go back to bed."

"Will you're not fine. I can…"

He cut him off, "No, I have to do this myself." He understood Valens better than he did himself. Valens clung to Will's neediness, so he would not have to face his own future without Lauren. He couldn't help his friend heal any more than he could help himself.

The roman looked taken aback and mumbled, "Um, I just want to help."

Will knew that was exactly what he had to do. "You should go back home for Thanksgiving… and Christmas. Your family will want to see you." Valens stared looking betrayed, but gave no reply against Will's firmness.

Once the cool water hit his face he braced himself with a stoic determination to get a grip. He had no idea what to do, but he needed to sort this out on his own. He returned to his small desk and started writing. He wrote without filter or purpose about all the shame, pain, guilt, sorrow, and yearning.

Each morning he would burn the pages feeling like he was exorcising a demon. And each night he locked the door to his small head counselors' room. Eventual restful sleep came and with it courage. He finally convinced Valens to return to New Rome for Thanksgiving and Will felt an odd sense of relief.

Finally on the last day of the month he resolved to write the letter that counted. He had tried before, but they all ended up on the fire. Tonight he was determined to get it right, well at least to send Nico the best one of the night. Finally after many failed attempts he let this one be enough.

 _My Dark Angel,_

 _I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of the night writing to you as I often do. It is sending it that is difficult. I really don't know how to take your lack of a reply letter. I said you didn't have to write, but I contend that if you were sincere, you would have written. I should not start with an accusation, but I_ _long to know what happened. Are you still angry but allowing me one more chance? Or are you just curious how pathetic I can be? After so much time have you given up on me? Maybe it is too late, but, as hopeless as it feels, I find myself yearning to reach you._

 _On that last night you said you loved me, but in the same sentence you told me to leave. You said that you were committed and weren't going anywhere, but by the next morning you were gone. After those actions I find it hard to believe your words. I know what it is to be coerced into feigning more than you feel. Still I'll risk my heart on you because I have to believe us is still a possibility. So pitiful or not I'm going to tell you all the things I should have before._

 _About Valens, I owe you more than a challenge to trust me. He always felt like a protective older brother, just like Lee. Lee took care of me and helped me recover from my mother's death. I blamed myself. I sensed it was more than just a back ache like she contended, but I let her convince me to wait. Then suddenly it was too late, she had a massive heart attack after having had the warnings for three days. Regardless of what she said, I should have pushed. If I did, maybe…_

 _Anyway Lee was my support and I wanted to do the same for Valens. He lost his fiancée in the war and that was part of the reason he came here, to get away from the memories. I stayed near him and touched him often to keep him in contact with life. I know he is petrified to go on, but I hope that he will in time be able to live without her. Even if I wasn't in love with you and he wasn't straight, he is too much like me to ever be attractive to me. So while we are often together and touching, he is like a sibling. Now that I am disconsolate over our break-up we are destructive for each other. We wallowed in regret and sorrow together but that only seems to intensify those feelings. I sent him back to New Rome for Thanksgiving and Christmas so we both get some much needed distance._

 _I truly wish I could replay that last night together and change my responses. I regret my demands for celibacy. My irrational fear of sex was a feeble misguided attempt to shield my heart. Now I have an actual broken heart over my inability to open myself up to you. How incredibly fucked up is that? I wish I had given in and had those memories of us together._

 _I have thought long and hard about that darkness within you as well. I actually had felt it before the giant war. You were always injured whenever you allowed me to touch you, so always I equated it with your injuries. Now I concede that it is part of you and I'm regretful that I made you feel weak and a held you prisoner over it._

 _So you see, I take it all back. I was so wrong, domineering, obstinate, and selfish. I don't know if you even would consider a future with me after all this. Yet I hope you will contemplate coming back and I'll show you I've changed my ways. Even if you are not ready to come back please write, so I know if I even have a chance. Even a sentence would be enough to quell my despair that I have lost you forever or tell me that I need to man up and move on._

 _Still in love with you,_

 _Will_

He looked over the letter feeling being both frightened and expectant. The birds had been singing for a while now, but the sun was not up yet. Before he could have second thoughts he dressed and went to find Mrs. O'Leary. He watched her disappear into shadows as the sun began to peek over the horizon.

* * *

A/N: So what do you think Nico's reaction will do? Now we move on to December and the closing of the story. I won't say it will be up soon, although that is what I hope. Thanks for hanging on this long and I promise a will finish this story in time.

Anne


	9. Chapter 9 - Nov: Dark Cold Snap Part 3

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 7 – November: Dark Cold Snap, Part 3 – Nico

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A/N: I found I needed another chapter for Nico's November, enjoy.

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~* Present – End of November in the Underworld *~

Nico woke and sat up to look hopefully around his large empty room. He fell back chastising himself for being a wuss. He was once again hoping against the reality of the past twelve days that Will had written him a letter. His words had been sweet and tender, but his action or lack thereof spoke loudly. It had been thirteen days and nothing, absolutely nothing from the man who said ' _it would comfort him greatly to be able to write.'_

His frustration flared and he rose quickly to summon some zombies for sword practice. He worked hard fighting three at once for nearly two hours, before he collapsed despondent. While his body was tired his mind was still fixated on Will. So, he dove into his studies. He had found that mental and physical exhaustion was the only way to effectively block out his brooding. He had already made up a year of math and science during his three weeks in the underworld.

He crumpled into his bed that night with his muscles aching and mind spinning with math equations and science theorems. The chattering of his brain allowed for no thought. Still just as sleep was taking him, he heard Will's vulnerable voice echo in his head, " _I just don't want… to get in to deep._ "

During his dreams that night he sobbed. He woke yet again to an empty room and desolate heart. He tried the usual tactics, but today he could not get over the desperate ache. By midday he decided he needed to get away from here. Unbidden he thought of Reyna and how close he felt to her. He quickly dressed and armed himself before he shadow traveled to the Camp Jupiter entrance.

* * *

Almost the moment he pasted the sentries he was accosted by Hazel hugging him tightly. "Brother, I could hardly believe it when they said you were here. I haven't heard from you in the longest time. Gee, you've grown," she squeezed his biceps, "and you've been working out. How are you? Is Will here, too?"

Nico returned her hug, but grimaced. He hadn't told her about breaking up with Will or leaving camp half-blood. She was use to his infrequent contact or he never would have gotten away with it. It would only worry her that he had being away from camp. On top of that she had seemed so uncomfortable with his relationship.

"No, I just came for a short visit." He answered before breaking the hug. She settled an arm around his waist as he put his arm around her shoulders and they walked together toward the dining hall.

"Why not, I thought you two were pretty much inseparable?"

He laughed mirthlessly, "Hardly."

She looked over at him and frowned, "What happened?"

He was taken off guard, "He decided to stay at the infirmary," he hedged as he pulled away from her. She reached forward taking his arm as if she could stop him from escaping.

They entered the pavilion and headed for Frank and Reyna's couches. Frank scowled, until he recognized Nico. Reyna as well as her metal dogs studied him intently. When they reached them Hazel let go of his arm and joined Frank on his couch.

Reyna stood and walked forward to hug him. Then she leaned back to study his face before speaking, "Nico it is about time you come for a visit." Softly she whispered, "We'll talk later." Damn he couldn't hide anything apparently. Aurum and Argentum sniffed him once before walking away. Frank shook his hand, but had nothing to say.

"I had to make sure my little sister and best friend were being treated right." He said as he sat. Frank went defensive and began explaining nerviously how he had been taking care of both girls. Nico let him babble as he reflected that it was a relief to have Reyna call him out.

That evening he visited with Reyna over dinner at her place. She had a two room apartment above the barracks. Both the main room and bedroom were open to a large patio that overlooked the training grounds. Soft curtains covered the opening as a cool breeze blew into the room to battle with the open fire place on the far wall.

They talked into the evening but he only told her small snippets about what happened with Will, preferring to reminisce or tell stories about baby satyr Chuck. He actually thought he might get away without having to admit the worst, but he did not count on Reyna's determination.

* * *

Later that night he found himself sitting on the divan with Aurum and Argentum sleeping on the rug while she went to change out of her regular uniform. Reyna walked back into the room carrying a tray. He burst into laughed at her outfit. She had on a pink pajama top with a light brown Pegasus and pajama pants with smaller Pegasus figures flying all over them.

"You look like a seven year old." He chortled.

"You can laugh all you want, I remember you in a parrot shirt."

"Hey, that was because I had nothing else."

"Yeah, well this was from Hylla and it reminds me of Scipio." She looked both offended and sad, so he stopped laughing. Only then did he notice the tray she set on the coffee table. It held a bottle and two shot glasses. She sat across from him and poured two shots of what he read from the label was gin, "You've told me nothing about what's wrong or what really happened with Will. So now we are getting down to business. Drink up!"

"You know I'm only fourteen right?"

"And here I thought you were born in the 1930s?" She laughed while Nico scowled, "You have survived more than most demigods survive in a lifetime. A night drinking with your best friend is just what you need."

He hesitated, but she was right but still he vacillated. _Did he really want to tell her everything?_

"Did you forget I know you better than anyone else and I still love you? It is time to let it out. I can tell you are barely hanging on."

He winched at the precision of her statement as he took a shot glass. He paused briefly to make sure she was one drinking too.

"To lost friends." She said as she drank. He gulped down the shot, but gasped and coughed as it burned his throat.

The praetor laughed, "It was like that my first time, too. You'll get used to it." She looked him square in the eye, "Are you ready to start talking or do you need more?"

He gasped slightly as heat radiated through his chest. Still his heart felt achingly hollow. "More," he rasped as he poured another shot.

They drank this one, but Nico went more slowly this time. They sipped for a long while in silence until Reyna looked sadly into her glass.

"Sometimes if feels like I've been alive for one hundred years instead of just eighteen."

"Yeah, I know how that is," he deadpanned.

"Did you know I was in love with Jason for a long time?" She said as she poured a third shot for both of them.

He looked at her surprised, "No, um…sorry." His shoulders listed, "So I guess you understand about Percy then."

"Yeah, it just seemed we were so close at times, but then it never materialized into anything."

"I know, I guess that never ending loss is what I expect. I just don't understand why I can't let go with Will. Why did things have to go sour?"

"It was so hard the first time I met Piper. I could see it as soon as he looked at her. It was just the same way Will looks at you."

He opened his mouth, but only poured another shot for himself. "Well he doesn't love me. At least he doesn't anymore," he answered morosely downing the burning shot.

"Nico, he still loves you. That type of love doesn't change."

His stomach sank as heat flushed his face and he retreated into anger. "If that is the case why has he been needling me forever about trivial things? Why does he spend all his time stuck to Valens like glue? Why does he not want do more than kiss? Why did he write only once getting my hopes up and then never ever write again? And why the hell can't I move on?"

"Tell me what happened and don't leave out anything." She ordered as her dogs looked up at him as if to say we'll know if you are lying.

So he did. He talked and drank. He told her everything as if he could forget it in the telling. Then he passed out on the divan. She shook her head, "Teenagers, they can never hold their liquor," as she slowly sipped the last of her third shot.

* * *

The next morning he woke under a blanket but something cold was pressed against Nico's back and rested on his cheek. He awoke to find Argentum snuggled up to him on the divan and he promptly fell forward onto the floor in his surprise.

Nico groaned loudly but stopped as the sound drove into his brain like a spike. He was sure that he was alive, being dead would have been a lot less painful. His head throbbed, his stomach clenched, and his hair hurt.

That was when Reyna decided to stomp over and yell. "You really shouldn't drink when you're angry."

"It was your idea and don't shout."

"I'm whispering. Besides I brought you water and aspirin."

He pried an eye open and looked up at her kneeling figure. He took the cup in a shaky hand and down the pills. "Now can you just let me die in peace?"

"Sure, as soon as you finish the water. It will help."

He woke in the late afternoon feeling better, meaning only half dead. Reyna had left out more water, aspirin, and a couple of donuts. He sat up, took the medicine, and felt well enough to eat. As he looked around and noticed his letter from Will smoothed out sitting on the end table. _Oh fuck, I told her everything and even let her read the letter._ He hung his head in shame wondering what she must think of him and his sniveling about Will. He stood wanting to get out of there, but abruptly sat as the contents of his stomach threatened to come back up. He laid back and wondered how long it would take to get over this fucking hangover. If this was the price he would never drink again.

Next time he woke it was already dark outside, but at least he felt human again. "Go morning sleeping beauty?" Reyna chuckled from the other side of the room.

"Why the fuck did you poison me last night?" He snapped.

"You brought it on yourself. If you would just loosen up and talk I wouldn't of had to, but no. You had to do it the hard way. Do you remember what we talked about?"

"No," He responded automatically not wanting to think about the things he said last night. Then it occurred to him that she might ask him to repeat what he said. "Well, maybe. But that doesn't mean I want to talk about it again."

"I won't have you repeat yourself, but I do have some advice I want you to hear when sober." She paused collecting her thoughts as she sat across from him. "I may not know Will very well, but know you and I know Valens.

"I'm surprised that Will would go on about trust, but not tell you Valens' story. He is suffering from profound grief. His fiancé was killed in the battle of Gaea and I sent him there since everything here reminds him of her. He needs gentle care right now. So I suspect that what may look like affection to you was Will trying to comfort Valens.

"Then there is another basic difference between you and Will that I don't think you have figured out yet. You don't like being told things, you want to be shown. You've shown your love by following Will's rules. I know you hate to do as you are told and that alone tells me you are in deep."

He frowned as the truth of her words. _He was so in love he couldn't fucking see straight. Now how was he going to live without him._ He put his face he his hands.

"Nico, like I said before, he loves you too. You'll see, he'll write. Besides, from what you've told me about Will I gather he sees all this differently. His relationship with Connor was about lust, not love. To him your passion may feel like just lust. He needs what you haven't shown him: romanced."

"Reyna, I don't know fuck about romance."

"Don't worry, I don't mean like in a movie. By romance I mean you have to talk to him honestly about your feelings. You have to say you love him and not just when it is forced out of you by anger." He looked at her horrified at that prospect.

"I know, talking is not your forte. Still if you can follow rules for him, telling him how you feel is easy. Then, when things get physical you have to dial it back until he is ready." He stared dumbfound at her advice. "I'm not talking about changing your personality, just be open with him and patient."

He gasped, "So that is all? Just romance him? I'm doomed."

She laughed, "Nope, I won't let you throw this away. You're going to learn to talk about your feelings." He gave a blank look. "Hazel has been worried sick about you, even though I said you were alright. You are going to visit with her tonight and tell her the truth about you and Will." His face drained of color. "If you don't I'll get you drunk again."

He groaned and stood up, "You are one scary ass friend." He reached for his shoes and sword belt and put them on.

"So I've been told," she smirked at him.

"Reyna, thank you, I think?" He left for the hardest talk of his life so far. _How was he going to tell his shockingly naive sister about his boyfriend problems?_

* * *

That evening he told Hazel he wanted go to their old haunt, the roof of the Pluto temple. He did have guest room, but it was nothing more than a small bedroom on one side of the barracks. Besides he felt more comfortable here and he would need all the help he could get.

They sat as usual on the edge of the roof in the dark. It was a not quite a full moon and in California it was a moderately cool winter evening. Nico was leaning forward twisting his hands in his lap as his legs dangled. Hazel was leaning back holding herself up with her arms behind her.

"So older brother, what did you want to talk about?"

"Er, how did you…" He turned around to eye her.

She giggled, "You've been anxious all night."

"Oh, um…. Hold my hand?" She stopped laughing and sat forward, extending her hand.

She gaped at him, "Y-you know I love you," she gulped, "even if you told me you wanted to start dressing like a girl."

He let out a peel of laughter and smiled at her stunned serious look, "No, I won't be dressing like a girl, um ever. Holy Hera, what has Reyna been teaching you?"

She relaxed and shrugged, but still fixed him with serious look. _This was it._ He fastened his eyes forward looking at the stars while he held her hand tight.

"We broke up. Will and I."

She leaned into his shoulder, "Oh Nico! What happened?" she compassionately cried.

"Yeah, well, things just kinda fell apart. About the time I was getting better and after Valens came to stay."

"He isn't, he wouldn't…" She argued. He forgot she knew him, too.

"Yeah, Reyna said the same thing." He sighed heavily, "It is just that Will doesn't want me anymore. He kept hassling me with ridiculous rules, and then he is with Valens all the time. All we've done for the last couple of months is bicker." He looked back at her briefly to see her concerned gaze and stayed facing her. "Get this, he said he could still feel darkness in me from the shadow sickness. I mean look at how I've grown and I told him I have my strength back. I tried to tell him it was my inherent darkness but he wouldn't listen. I even had to practice my shadow travel behind his back, with Chiron's okay of course. And he still didn't believe me." He turned back to the sky.

"Yeah, you do channel that Ghost King aura."

He frowned and added sadly, "I finally had enough and left camp about three weeks ago."

Hazel gasped, "Where have you…"

"I was safe in the underworld. I knew he couldn't come see be there. He did write to me using Mrs. O'Leary to deliver his letter, but that was two weeks ago. He gave up on me." He sniffed, "Hazel, I want him back so bad." He leaned forward letting go of her hand and covering his face.

She rubbed his back and made shh noises. Nico gasped quietly until he got a hold on himself. _I will not cry in front of my sister._

"So he didn't reply to your letter."

"Um, I didn't write back."

"If you care about him that much, why in the world not?"

"He said I didn't have to write."

"Boys are so hopeless," she snorted, "He may have said that, but I'm sure he wanted you to reply. What did he say in the letter?"

"He said he felt differently from how he was acting and he was sorry. But then later he said he wasn't sure he could change."

"It doesn't sound to me like he dislikes you. It sounds like he needs a little encouragement. Go see him, face to face, see what he has to say. It is the only way to fix things."

"I'll think about it."

"Nico," she said in a warning tone, "What did Reyna say when you told her about it?"

"Um… Er… I need to romance Will and be patient with him."

"So why would you tell us all this and ask our advice if you're not going to follow it?" She demanded.

He turned irritated with her, "I can't be the one to give in. I was wronged. He should come to me."

"What does it matter who was 'wronged' if you are miserable?" She stared at him and he let her words sink in. _He was utterly miserable, but still._ She almost seemed to hear his thoughts as he demanded, _"_ Swallow your god damn pride and go see him."

That got his attention, she never swore. He swallowed and nodded, "Alright, I'll write him. If I don't hear from him soon, I'll go see him."

* * *

Later he sat on his bed in his stark guest room and wrote in the spiral notebook Hazel lent him. He stared at the blank page for the longest time. He found it incredibly hard to articulate how he felt. It was hours before he came up with anything close to adequate.

 _November 30_

 _Will,_

 _I'm sorry to be such a stubborn jerk and not writing sooner. I really want things to work between us, yet I'm not sure how to move forward. I can wait for you, if you need more time. Just know that I'm not going to follow your treatment rules anymore. If you can't admit that I am cured, then we have nothing to say to each other. If you don't want 'us' anymore please tell me and put me out of my misery._

 _Missing you,_

 _Nico de Angelo_

He looked at the pitifully short letter that didn't quite seem to convey how much he still loved him. At the same time he could not bring himself to write that he loved him. That would have to be done in person. At least it didn't sound angry, but it still made it clear that he wouldn't go back into treatment. After much thought he decided that was the one complaint that he would not compromise on. He had be given a clean bill of health before he would consider going back to Camp Half-Blood.

He sighed wondering how to deliver the letter. He would not leave it to others and it felt urgent. He could shadow travel there and back. It would be tiring, but nobody else would need to know. He left the letter at the infirmary desk and leaned over it. It took a while to gather his strength for the shadow traveled back to Camp Jupiter, but he made it and collapsed on his small guest bed a few hours before dawn.

* * *

A/N: So I don't always know where the story will lead me. This time I did not know Nico needed to write his own letter, but Hazel showed me better. Next we move on to December and the closing of the story.

Thanks,

Anne


	10. Chapter 10 – Dec: Aurora Borealis Part 1

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 8 – December: Aurora Borealis Part 1 – Nico

* * *

A/N: I finally have the end in sight, enjoy.

* * *

~* Present – December *~

Nico woke to see Valens Aurelius sitting beside him in what was definitely a hospital room. _Shit, I must have bonked at Camp Half Blood…. but I thought I made it back? And why the fuck isn't Will here?_

He squinted at the healer and spat, "What the fuck do you want?"

Valens gave a mirthless chuckle, "What type of healer would I be if I let my best friend's _boyfriend_ come to harm?" Then he smiled tightly as he folded his arms over his chest.

He glared back, "Where is he?"

"The usual place. The real question is where have you been?"

"The usual places. What's it to you?" He rub the sleep from his eyes and sat up.

"Well it is like this," he huffed, "It is noon on Wednesday and…"

"What?" _I wrote my letter to Will on Monday night?_

Valens barked, "Yes, you've been asleep 36 hours that I know about. What are you suicidal? How far did you shadow travel to land yourself here?"

Nico raised his chin and his nostrils flared. "I don't have to answer to you."

"Yes you do and I say you are on bed rest for the next two days."

"It will just take one of Will's sun baths and I'll be all better." The healer tensed and blinked. He stiffened and his mouth went dry, "You want me gone don't you?"

The healer shrugged, "I guess you just answered my question. You shadow traveled to Camp Half-blood and back."

He felt an unpleasant flip in his stomach like he just missed a step. His eyes darted around the room and he realized it was not like the infirmary rooms he knew. It had higher ceilings and a marble floor.

He grit his teeth, "Why are you here?"

Valens frowned and looked away clenching his jaw. He huffed before wilting into his seat, "Will sent me back for my own good." Then he glared at him and spat, "How could you be so unfeeling toward Will? He loves you and you just stomped on his heart."

"I'm not talking about Will with _you_. If he sent you away at least I know where he stands."

"You're insane to be jealous. I'm just a friend, at least I thought I was." He ended meekly.

"I'm not fucking jealous," Nico practically shouted. "But the way you were always with him and touching him. Now you're attacking me about him. What am I supposed to think?"

He paused, "I… just… Ugh…" His voice rose, "I can't get over Lauren, Alright! I'm lost and Will let me lean on him. Now he sent me away saying it was for my own good, but he was _wrong_. Without Lauren nothing will ever be good again!"

Nico blinked and looked down. A long pause later he began in small voice, "I felt that way when Bianca died. She was the only family I ever knew. I was ten."

Valens' look faltered. He slowly leaned back and gazed around the room. "Listen, we have been trying to wake you since yesterday morning, so I'm not letting you shadow travel again until I'm sure you are out of danger. Do you promise to stay put?"

Nico considered that he could easily shadow travel away if he could talk Valens into leaving the room, "Of course, can I go back to sleep now?" He made to snuggle down in the covers.

Valens put a hand on his chest and leaned over him, "You are staying here under observation until such time as you can shadow travel again. I just want your word you won't make trouble."

Nico tried to push him away, but he just grabbed both his wrists and held them. "I can have you tied down if I need to."

He glared as he tried to wiggle his hands loose, but sighed, "I'll bet Reyna and Hazel will help you?"

"You know it. So do you promise to stay here through Friday?"

He frowned still twisting his arms trying to escape, "I guess I have no choice."

Valens released his wrists, "Good, then I have something for you. It came on the morning we found you. Mrs. O'Leary was quite a shock to the Roman's at roll call. It is lucky Reyna and Frank recognized her." He opened the file on the night stand and took out an envelope.

Nico's eyes followed the envelope. He sat up as Valens dropped it on the bed. It was inscribed with Will's neat printing on the front.

Valens stood, "I'll give some privacy to read that." He rolled his chair around to face a small table against the wall and began typing on the laptop sitting there.

Nico's nerveless fingers rushed to rip open the letter and he devoured it, barely able to comprehend any words as he read them.

 _My Dark Angel,_

 _I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of the night writing to you as I often do. It is sending it that is difficult. I really don't know how to take your lack of a reply letter. I said you didn't have to write, but I contend that if you were sincere, you would have written. I should not start with an accusation, but I long to know what happened. Are you still angry but allowing me one more chance? Or are you just curious how pathetic I can be? After so much time have you given up on me? Maybe it is too late, but, as hopeless as it feels, I find myself yearning to reach you._

 _On that last night you said you loved me, but in the same sentence you told me to leave. You said that you were committed and weren't going anywhere, but by the next morning you were gone. After those actions I find it hard to believe your words. I know what it is to be coerced into feigning more than you feel. Still I'll risk my heart on you because I have to believe 'us' is still a possibility. So pitiful or not I'm going to tell you all the things I should have before._

 _About Valens, I owe you more than a challenge to trust me. He always felt like a protective older brother, just like Lee. Lee took care of me and helped me recover from my mother's death. I blamed myself. I sensed it was more than just a back ache like she contended, but I let her convince me to wait. Then suddenly it was too late, she had a massive heart attack after having had the warnings for three days. Regardless of what she said, I should have pushed. If I did, maybe…_

 _Anyway Lee was my support and I wanted to do the same for Valens. He lost his fiancée in the war and that was part of the reason he came here, to get away from the memories. I stayed near him and touched him often to keep him in contact with life. I know he is petrified to go on, but I hope that he will in time be able to live without her. Even if I wasn't in love with you and he wasn't straight, he is too much like me to ever be attractive to me. So while we are often together and touching, he is like a sibling. Now that I am disconsolate over our break-up we are destructive for each other. We wallowed in regret and sorrow together but that only seems to intensify those feelings. I sent him back to New Rome for Thanksgiving and Christmas so we both get some much needed distance._

 _I truly wish I could replay that last night together and change my responses. I regret my demands for celibacy. My irrational fear of sex was a feeble misguided attempt to shield my heart. Now I have an actual broken heart over my inability to open myself up to you. How incredibly fucked up is that? I wish I had given in and had those memories of us together._

 _I have thought long and hard about that darkness within you as well. I actually had felt it before the giant war. You were always injured whenever you allowed me to touch you, so always I equated it with your injuries. Now I concede that it is part of you and I'm regretful that I made you feel weak and a held you prisoner over it._

 _So you see, I take it all back. I was so wrong, domineering, obstinate, and selfish. I don't know if you even would consider a future with me after all this. Yet I hope you will contemplate coming back and I'll show you I've changed my ways. Even if you are not ready to come back please write, so I know if I even have a chance. Even a sentence would be enough to quell my despair that I have lost you forever or tell me that I need to man up and move on._

 _Still in love with you,_

 _Will_

It took him three times to actually decipher all the words with his dyslexia. That got him no closer to comprehending it, but regardless it was clear Will, _his Will_ , still wanted him. That was all he needed to know before he went back to camp, but…. _Shit, he just promised to stay put._

He wanted to shadow traveling to Camp Half Blood right now. Yet he could not ignore what he had learned from Will. After two trips in a row, he could feel the darkness had grown inside him. As much as it irked him, Valens was right, he needed rest.

He called to Valens. He found out Mrs. O'Leary left yesterday, _Fuck._ An IM would be too short and email would have to go through Chiron. He had no other way to get in touch with Will. He had to wait it out. As much as he enjoyed seeing Hazel and Reyna it was going to be a long couple of days.

* * *

Nico planned his arrival at Camp Half Blood for just before curfew. After studying the letter he was confident Will would be glad to see him. As difficult as it to wait any longer, he had to sleep off the shadow travel. He could not risk looking fatigued in front of the healer.

In the morning he woke feeling alert. Maybe he was starting to get some of his shadow travel stamina back. He showered and dressed carefully as his stomach fluttered. Eventually he headed for a late breakfast. It was unlikely he would see any Apollo campers this late and just as unlikely that he could eat, but he still went. He supposed all that time following Will's three meals a day regime had left its mark or maybe he was stalling.

As he approached the pavilion a figure came running toward him from the other side of dining area. He stilled and stared as the figure of Will in his ridiculous bright blue puffy ski jacket barreled toward him shouting, "Hey! Nico! Wait!" and waving his arms. Nico gasped, stood still. Then he braced himself hunching his shoulders and leaning away.

Will slowed and bent his shoulders forward as be broke into a long legged stride. He led with his chin and furrowed brow. _Fuck, I must have I miss read his letter._ Nico looked instinctively side to side and backed up a step.

Will's slowed as he got closer looking him up and down, clenching his hands into fists. Nico hesitantly stood his ground leaning as far back as he could with his feet planted. _Oh fuck!_ Only now that he appeared to be headed for a fight, did he realize he would let him hit him. He wasn't masochistic but he'd take this if only he could get back into Will's good graces.

He hunched to the side and squinted his eyes half closed. Time seemed to stop as his own personal nightmare played out. Will stopped at an arm's length away and raised his right fist in the feeblest attempt at upper cut he had ever seen. Then his face fell. He shook as he opened his hand to almost cup Nico's cheek. He shadowed his hand palm out over Nico's chest before finally pursing his lips, sighing and dropping his arm.

Nico scowled, _What the Fuck?_ Will had always touched him. Always. Even before when Nico didn't want him to. _Why won't he…_ Now, of all times, he was expecting a hit and instead… _Shit he just doesn't want to touch me anymore._

Will cleared his throat, before he started talking while looking past him. "How long are you here for?"

Nico's head swirled as his stomach dropped, "Um, I came to take my eighth grade science and algebra tests."

"Oh, so not long," Will scanned him without looking into his eyes. Then he turned his face toward the infirmary, "Just so you know I have amended your medical record." Only then did he look into his eyes, "I gave you a clean bill of health and I won't bother you anymore," In that instant Nico saw his lips tremble and eyes blinking rapidly before he walked away without another word.

 _Double what the fuck? He is afraid of me?_ He ran his hands through his hair and tugged at his neck as he tried to make sense of it all. He continued on auto pilot as he ate a breakfast he didn't taste. _Why wouldn't he touch me? Why after that letter saying how much he still wanted me? If he was still angry why did he look afraid? If he was done with us why even approach me?_ A creeping suspicion dawned… Maybe he regretted the letter. _And just when I was ready to say…._

He abruptly stood and started marching toward the infirmary. Even if it was over, he had to talk to him. He would not leave it like this. He would not let it end in bitter silence. He had to hear it out loud no matter how much it hurt.

He walked into the apparently deserted infirmary. He looked around the partially lit room to see the dispensary door open. He walked cautiously up to the doorway of that narrow room.

"Will, are you here?" he called from the doorway although he could see him facing away from the door stocking a shelf.

"Hu? Oh it is you," He barely glanced at him before resuming his work.

"Will, why so distant?"

He didn't pause in his work, "I'm not, I'm just am busy,"

"Um… yeah…." He hesitated in the hope that he would turn around, but he didn't. "I shouldn't have left."

"Oh" he said flatly.

"If you're angry maybe you should just take a punch at me?"

Will dropped the bandage he was holding and it rolled away on the shelf. He quickly moved it back into place, "No, I'm not angry."

"I'm not angry anymore either, but I'd understand if you are." he paused stepping closer to Will.

Will kept himself facing away as he reached down for another box of bandages. As he placed the larger bandages further along the shelf Nico noticed a shake in his hand.

"Will, would you turn around?" He huffed with more venom then he intended.

Will's shoulders slumped as he ever so slowly set the box in his hand down. Nico took that time to smooth his face. The healer turned flinching like a scolded puppy and blinking.

Nico sighed, "I don't want to fight with you. I… I just want to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you or doubt you."

Only then did Will actually look at him full in the face. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too." His eyes got hard and he said, "When did things go so wrong?" He pursed his lips and shook his head, "Never mind. Don't answer that."

Now that Will was looking at him Nico's nerves spun up. He looked down taking a deep breath. _I can't do it now. He's hardly able to stand looking at me._ "I want to talk with you sometime when you aren't so busy. Can you make some time for me?"

Will blinked and swallowed, "Alright. When are your tests?"

"Not sure, I haven't talked to Chiron yet."

"He usually lets you pick the time that works for you." His face tightened, "Let's get this over with. How about after lunch under the maple by the lake."

"Y-yeah, s-sure… I'll let you get back to work." He turned away as his turning stomach lightened. _He chose the tree where they had their first date. That has to be a good sign._ Will's eyes followed him as he walked away.

* * *

A/N: So Will and Nico finally have some face time, but it was just not what Nico would have expected. What do you think is up with Will?

Thanks for reading,

Anne


	11. Chapter 11 Dec: Aurora Borealis Part II

**A Hearts Abyss**

Chapter 8 – December: Aurora Borealis Part II – Will

A/N: Finally here is the ending. I've decided that I won't do an epilogue, so I've listed this one as complete.

* * *

~* Present at Camp Half-Blood – December 1*~

November has been the longest month of Will's life. He hoped that December would be better now that he had finally sent a letter to Nico. He sagged as he thought, _at least I'll know one way or the other by tomorrow._ He stumbled and yawned as he went to check out from the infirmary. He felt he could sleep for a change, he'd done all he could.

As soon as he entered the empty quiet infirmary he noticed something on the main counter. He looked disbelieving at the neat cursive on the plain white envelope. He leaned closer to read it as butterflies tickled his insides. As he read his name in Nico's hand writing he saw a curly black hair on top of the letter.

He flushed as his heart thundering. _Nico is here!_ He snapped his head up to look around the room and quickly padded through all the rooms in the empty infirmary. _He had to be here somewhere sleeping off the shadow travel._ Undeterred he tried the Hades cabin, before doing to a hurried yet furtive search of the whole camp.

As it became clear that he was nowhere, Will began to quake and sweat. He only just made it back to the infirmary showers and turned them all on before he lost himself yelling at his missing boyfriend. " _Nico! Why! Why the fuck didn't you stay here? Oh my Gods, was the risk of seeing me so bad that you tried a second travel? Where are you sleeping now? What if you aren't safe from monsters?"_ Unbidden the thought he most tried to deny crowded for his voice cracked and broke into a whisper, "What if he is lost in the shadows?" At that he dissolved into sobs.

He spent a long time in the shower before pulling himself together enough to listlessly wandering camp again. This time he did not expect to see Nico at every turn, but he still tried. It was a sign of how distant he had been lately that nobody even seemed to notice the change, but he did. Before color still existed and life went on, but now all was light gray, bleached of color in the over bright winter sunshine.

Finally the thought occurred to him: Clovis! He ran to the Hypnos cabin but hesitated on the threshold. He steeled himself to talk about _him_ before he entered. He stepped inside and firmly shook Clovis awake.

He blinked slowly up at him, "Will, I haven't seen you in dreams. Trouble sleeping?"

"Uh, yes. But that's not why I'm here. I need to find Nico. I'm sure he is asleep somewhere. Can you find him?"

The round faced teen yawned widely and nodded, "Wait for me…better yet sleep with me." He closed his eyes and slowly leaned his head into his pillow.

Will didn't want to sleep, his dreams before had been too harsh and now would be worse. He sat down in a soft easy chair and stared at the dripping tree branch. Slowly he blinked as each drop fell from the branch. He shook his head, but the soporific effect of the cabin was impossible to resist. Next thing he knew he was under _their_ tree, the maple by the lake, with an alert Clovis.

"Will, hold my hand. You can lead me to him. He often dreams of you."

"You have been monitoring his dreams?"

"It is more like I just end up there. I check on all my friends when they are troubled."

He frowned wondering if he checked up on him. He suddenly felt like he was dissolving into mist.

Then he was in a minuscule empty windowless and door less room with no Clovis. It had oddly shaped curved terracotta walls that tapered leading to a small black circular ceiling. He saw something on the wall and crouched down to take a look. The room seemed to following him. He saw long lines four crossed by a fifth line and two more… it was tallies. As he realized that, he turned to see the walls closing down on him. They continued until he was curled up tightly and gasping for air. He dissolved again.

This time he was in an immense mismatched room crouching next to a standing Clovis. The room seemed like a collection of theater props. It had a bedroom area, workout area, and living room area with furniture from odd mismatched eras. The roof was so high he couldn't see the top. Only a green glow lit the area. Clovis touched the black bedspread and shook his head, "He isn't here either."

The next dissolve had them in a medieval temple lined with skulls. Slowly he realized bones were everywhere holding the building together. He turned to see a burning ghost and Hades. He said, "… not all deaths should be avoid."

He woke with start. Clovis sat up in his bed, "I don't think he is sleeping. I can't feel him anywhere. With you here, I should be able to reach him in all but a death like sleep."

He began shaking. _Death like? He couldn't be gone!_ He looked at Clovis imploring him.

"Hey, what's wrong? I know he has been in danger a lot, but I haven't seen him in trouble, only sad. I'll keep an eye out for him and let you know if I see him." Will nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

He quickly turned and left. He could feel it coming for him. He hurried half-blind to his room and let the tidal wave crash over him.

Later that day everyone knew he was sequestered in his room and not answering anyone. Chiron even visited him without getting in. He only said through the door he had until Thursday morning to get back to work, before he left him alone. He spent his days and nights in sleepless, hopeless, horror that Nico was gone. Gone as if he had never been, into the shadows. _Why am I so fucking pushy that I drove him away. It is all my fault._

When Thursday came around he did what he had to do. He was good at it. Showing a brave front to the world. He went to his job at the infirmary, did his school work, and answered when people spoke to him, but he felt gutted and empty.

* * *

Friday morning he took his time getting to work, because _why did it matter_. He shivered even in the bright winter sun, while wearing with his snow boots, heaviest sweater, and ski jacket. He trudged over to the dinning pavilion keeping his head down.

He felt heat, like a sunbeam on him. He squinted up and gasped. _It was him? Was he a ghost?_ Then again he looked so real, solid. He ran starring at him without blinking, to make sure he didn't disappear. He finally began to believe it was him and he shouted as he swelled with hope. _He made the second jump._

His thoughts flew as he ran. _How could he be here? Why did he risk the second shadow travel?_ As he watched him he seemed to fall back and brace himself. To himself he said, ' _That is right, you should be wary. I'm pissed.'_

He trembled, _I'll drive him away. He is already wary._ He stopped himself but gazed in wonder at seeing him again. He wanted so badly to touch him, but he couldn't. _It will look like I'm checking his health, like I don't believe he is cured._ It hit him then, _He is cured, really cured! He made two shadow trips in a row without rest and still his alive._ He had to say it. Say he was cleared from the infirmary, but it was hard to even look at him. Still he managed, barely. He left as quickly as possible before he broke down and began begging him to stay.

The interview in the infirmary was difficult. He had already thought he was done. He barely kept up with what little conversation there was. _Why isn't he yelling? Soon he will start yelling as he should…_

He said the first place that came to mind as all cognitive thought had broken down. _He wants to see me?_ He didn't understand anything, Nico acted like his friend. Then as he left he stared not sure if he wanted to meet him. Surely he'll get irate at him and that will ruin the site of their first date.

* * *

Will stood stiffly anticipating the worst and eager to show he had changed his tune. Nico approached with a brisk stride looking angry and reserved. He hung back solemn and caution.

"Well I'm here," Will said leaning his back against the tree with his arms and legs crossed just to keep them from shaking.

"Yeah, I… Um…" Nico shook his head and covered his face with his hand. "I just had to talk to you, alone."

"Well, I'm ready for whatever you need to say." He braced himself and lowered his eyes. "I deserve your wrath."

"No, that's not…" Will slyly looked up, his fear tempered with curiosity. "I have to tell you something… something that I should have said a long time ago. I was so wrapped up in being annoyed at all the little shit that…."

"It wasn't! 'Little' I mean. I shouldn't have made such a big deal about everything." He squared his feet and let his arms fall open. Nico stepped closer. He leaned back and curl his shoulders in.

Nico clutched his arm and focused on his face, "Anyway, I have to tell you this." He briefly looked to the side, "I mean it may just be too late for anything to come of it, but I can't deny it anymore. If things are going to end I want to do it right."

He somehow opened himself as he looked up into Will's face. Will fell deeply into his warm chocolate eyes, "Will, I should have this said sooner. I always want to say it, but I always chickened out." He squinted his eyes closed and shook his head. Will felt his stomach turning sour, his eyes rolled down and his head drooped.

Nico gulped in breath after breath trying to get the words out. He stepped closer clutching his jacket with the other hand. He shook Will until his eyes opened and he looked into those dangerous brown orbs again, "Will, Ti amo…. I love you." The blond gasped, "I have since the start." His head fell to lean on his chest as he choked out, "I even do now when-when, it is too late."

Will's sour stomach floated away. _He-his Nico, said 'I love you',_ Will blinked stunned and sputtered. Nico clutched him tighter, _he really means it?_ He flushed as he wrapped his arms around the smaller teen and leaned his head down. "Who says it is too late, my dark angel?"

"Y-You-You can't," Will nudged his head and he looked up with his desolate dark eyes, "You wouldn't even touch me earlier?"

"Um… I-I didn't want to look like I was checking your health. Anyway you looked like you wanted to run away from me."

"Of course you, looked all bat shit crazy when you were running up to me."

"I was crazy… I thought you had faded for good after two shadow travels to delivery that letter. For four fucking days I have been out of my mind. I thought I would spend the rest of my life alone." He choked, "Then you show up looking perfectly fine and I couldn't…."

Nico climbed his hands up to his face and pulled him down into a fierce messy kiss. "I made it home but," kiss "they couldn't," kiss, "wake me." Kiss, "I had," Kiss, "to rest," kiss, "before I could travel back," kiss, "Forgive me?"

Will squeezed him tighter and answered his kisses with just as much fervor. Then the tears came, but he didn't stop. The kisses became slow and longing and deeper. Nico ripped open the snaps of his jacket and laced his hand round him.

It felt so right to have his hands on him. He threaded his hands into his soft beautiful hair and held him tightly to his lips. He wanted more, to know this was real. Will still kissed him but he slowly slid his hands down to collected Nico's hands and pulled them out.

Nico stepped back as he paled, "I'm sorry. I'm too pushing. I can wait as long as you need."

Will still felt on fire from the heat of their kiss, "Come on I-I just want to go somewhere warmer to continue." Nico couldn't stop a happy growl from escaping his throat. "Shadow travel to your cabin?"

His brow furrowed, "What? You want me to shadow travel? Now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

He looked pensive, "Yeah, um no…" He looked around before continuing, "We'd better walk."

Will let out his held breath. At the same time they laced fingers together and heading around the lake at a brisk walk. They took a brief look around to make sure nobody saw them before they slid into the cabin.

As Nico closed the door Will immediately turned around to wrap his arms around his waist, sliding under his bomber jacket. He leaned down to take Nico's lips. His were hot, while Nico's were cool like a soft summer breeze. Will burned with desire unlike any he had felt before. He was not trying to escape like with Connor or hold himself back in fear like before. It didn't matter that Nico was dominate one. He had to have Nico skin to skin with him now.

Without breaking the kiss, he used one hand to unzip his bomber jacket. He peeled it off one side revealing Nico's long sleeved tee shirt. He then changed hands to do the other side while still keeping them tightly pressed together. Nico held his upper arms, but moved as needed to help him.

He briefly clasped his hands together only to use the other to hold his sleeve as he peeled off one arm of his jacket, then the other. Nico seemed to be watching in disbelief as Will continued to take off his sweater and his thermal shirt leaving himself bare chested. Nico lay his hands on his chest breaking the kiss to look at him.

Will worked the black tee shirt up and slipped one sleeve off. He pushed the tee shirt neck line over his head and left the other sleeve hanging. He pressed their bare chests together with a hand at his waist and middle back almost trapping Nico's hands with his speed. "What…" The raven hair teen began, but Will canting his hips to press their erections together and he moaned instead.

Will again hungrily kissed him as he rubbed against his lover. He let one hand wander down to squeeze his ass and then lower to the inside of his thigh. He quickly followed with the other hand and lifted him up. Nico held on laying his head on his shoulder and softly sucking on his earlobe.

Will eased him onto the bed. He toed off his snow boots before laying over Nico and boxing his chest within his arms. Still he held himself off him as he leaned down to trail kisses along his lean warm chest.

"Will, what has gotten into you-uu?" Nico arced up as Will brushed his brown nipple in his tongue. Will stopped to look at him with clouded eyes, still keeping his tongue on him.

"You don't have to prove anything to me." Nico challenged.

Will lifted his face up, breaking contact. "I'm not. I-I've wanted you so badly all along. I missed you so much. I've been stupid…to try and control my heart." He sat up over Nico's upper thighs. "Still if you want to stop…"

Nico hoarsely croaked, "No, don't stop. I…" He sat up reaching one arm around Will and using one steady himself as he pulled him down on top of him. He took his mouth but gave way when Will's tongue invaded his mouth. Will's body seemed to crackle with electricity. He allowed his weight to press down, pressing them together. He leaned on his elbows above Nico's shoulders and laced his hands in his hair as they kissed. Heat tingled everywhere they touched and he was impossibly hard. Finally he drew back from the kiss and they panted into each other's faces.

"Can I see you?" Will whispered huskily.

Nico gulped, blushed, and nodded, "I want to see you, too."

It was unexpected, the way Nico lay still as he scooted down him. He could clearly see the need in his eyes. He urged him on with those deep dark eyes. Yet he, who never led, was in control. He felt frenzied as he ran his hands over his sides and then chest where he had exposed the skin as he scooted his own chest downward. The jean fabric and buttons were rough against his bare skin, but the hard flesh under it all made him moan. He went down all the way, lay his cheek against his clothed erection, and wrapped his arms around him squeezing, and sighed happily. _My Nico wants me!_

Nico hissed and Will lifted up to undo his jeans. He slid down his pants and then his boxers. He gasped and gave a low groan. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't something this damn erotic. His cock was long, dark skinned, and uncut, but the part that really go him was the flushed red tip pushing out of the foreskin and pearl of clear fluid on the end. "Gods you're beautiful!"

He reached his hand forward, but Nico grasping his wrist, "My turn." Will looked up into his hooded dark eyes and that got him to lean back on his knees. He unbuttoned his flannel lined jeans and pushed them down. Nico sat up eagerly. He laced his thumbs under his red boxer briefs and pulled them out over his broad, flared tipped, rock hard cock.

"Lay down next to me." Nico ordered as he turned to his end table. Will felt heat burning his skin as his heart hammered loudly. He did as instructed and kicked off his jeans.

Nico turned back to him with lube and a towel, "Give me your hand." He gave him a generous portion that he warmed between his hands, wiping his left hand on the towel as he stared at his stunning long cock again.

"We'll do it together," Nico rasped out after he readied lube on his hands. As Will gripped his smooth pulsing member, Nico's hand clinched his hard flesh. He whimpered at the contact, wondering if he could hold off. The Italian set up a fast pace, that made his balls tight. He matched him and brush his thumb over his tip on alternate strokes. He used his other hand to hold his balls and gentle rolled them together.

Nico grunted. Will looked up into his face and was caught on his gaze. His eyes focused on his work yet he was transfixed with pleasure as he stuttered out his rapid breaths. Will felt excessively present as he floated toward his own climax. He heard himself beg, "Oh please more." Nico, who had been running his other hand over his chest, rolled a sensitive nipple between his fingers, causing a low moan as he gripped him tighter and moved faster.

He still trained his eyes on Nico's face and when Nico looked him in the eye, he lost his rhythm and fell over the edge. He felt dizzy and almost stopped stroking him, but it didn't matter. Nico followed him with a moaned "Ti amo," as cum pulsed onto the bed between them.

His heart jack rabbited as the cabin air cooled his overheated skin. He reflexively reached his clean hand up to cup Nico's cheek while rubbing his cum covered right hand on the towel between them. "I-I love you, too," he wheezed as tears threatened.

Nico smiled warmly with a wicked glint in his eye, "As I love you, Cuore Mio." He lifted his cum soaked hand and licked it while raising an eyebrow.

Will felt his skin start to burn again with desire, "Oh Gods, you are going to kill me," he chuckled.

Nico pulled him forward pausing only to say, "No, Amore Mio, I'm going to take you soaring," He latched on to his mouth guiding him into a fervent kiss.

* * *

Italian Translations

Amore Mio = my love

Cuore Mio = my heart

Ti amo! = I love you


End file.
